"The best stories are not told through words, but with your eyes." - Kai York

"You are going to be okay. You are...despite the way the world has failed to protect the tenderness that you are, despite the way it has clawed at the light within, despite the pain, despite the ache, despite all that has conspired to weigh down the soul of you - you are still here...Something deep inside of you kept going...something deep inside of you always will. Trust in that." - Bianca Sparacino

"You have to die a few times before you can really live." - Charles Bukowski

"I can let my guard down with you. I don't do that with anyone else. You make me vulnerable. And, maybe that's ok." - Detective Chloe Decker, Lucifer: St. Lucifer (S1 E11)

"I want to spend my life with you, even if it scares me." - Marcus, "Always Be My Maybe"

"Behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of pain..." - Bob Dylan

Your life is NOT yet over. There is STILL air in your lungs, even if sometimes they feel like someone has crushed them beneath the weight of the world. There is still hope in your heart, even if sometimes it feels as if you’re clinging to it by the MEREST of slivers. There is still faith in your soul, even if sometimes you wonder why and ask yourself what you are holding on FOR.

There is still LIFE in your life, even if sometimes you cannot see the way or know what the next step to take is. There are multitudes of POSSIBILITIES swirling around you, just waiting for you to open your eyes to see them for what they are; to see them standing there in front of you wanting you to see them, as you want yourself to be seen.

There IS love out there for you. It might have had folded arms and guarded smiles, but it IS there; as cautious as you because it has been hurt over and over, scars it wears proudly because it still has the courage to believe that it WAS meant for this life, beauty that only another soul who sings the SAME tune can see and appreciate.

Life is FULL of infinite possibilities. Endless opportunities call YOUR name. You could walk in ANY of myriad directions. You could traverse far MORE than one ocean. YOU could live a life of untold wonder and unimagined joy. You just have to SEE it. You have to realize it and understand that it IS there for you. You have to be OPEN to it. You have to step INTO it.

Taking that FIRST step is always the hardest. Walking AWAY from what you know for what you don’t is always apprehensive. Opening up your heart and soul again for something new is always a RISK. But all the risk in the world is WORTH it, because without it, you would never truly know what it is like to be blessed, to live happiness, to experience peace, to grow and evolve, and to REALLY live.

Words: © Rosie Chee

Those who inspire others often inspire, not because they are perfect, but because they are NOT. They have struggled and OVERcome insufferable odds, refusing to give up and stay down, living testimony to others that there IS hope. Their stories inspire because they are REAL people who lead real lives and yet manage to achieve "the impossible" when most would make excuses.

No life is "perfect", but things do not have to be "perfect" to be happy, successful, or blessed, and sometimes the way we "deal" with life and the things it throws at us "make" the inspiration others "draw" from. Even when they do not know your story, whether you want them to or not, are aware of it or not, the impression one might get can be powerfully influencing.

If one were perfect there would be NO inspiration, for there would be nothing "worthy" to admire. But when one is IMperfect and has no fear in admitting weakness, there is strength in that vulnerability, the risk to "expose" to scrutiny, for there is courage in such risk and willingness to let others see that "battle" and people relate to REAL.

Words: © Rosie Chee

"Give yourself some credit. You've got a big heart, you've made it through this far, and you are always, always, always stronger than you think." - Brendon Burchard


Image: Rosie Chee

Is that what you want to do? Play a game of hearts? Turn me into the Queen of Hearts, the one who turns them, collects them, but remains cold throughout it all, none of them meaning anything to me, except the one I cannot have, for it denies it even belongs to me because it cannot admit to itself that the King of Hearts lost his heart to the Queen. Is that what you really want? To watch me see how many I can break, because you want to see if I will break, because the thought of allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable terrifies you to pieces, and you would rather hurt yourself and the one you love the most by trying to push away the one heart that truly loves you for nothing but you, demon king of hearts that you are, an angel at whose feet all hearts fall, without you even trying by your own admission. Is that what your heart wants? To watch the heart it wants the most grow cold playing a game that it plays only because it sees the game you play with it, when the only real one being played here is your own heart, which draws more distant with every heart it sees its love claim, all because it is too proud to admit that the one who does not fall fell, even as it was the same for the queen, whose heart came to love when it does not let itself love. Only hers was willing to take the risk and try for truth and the beauty of what this love could be, but instead the king drew himself away and forced her to watch as he denied his truth and sought to try to prove it false in toying with the rest of the world, making the queen despair and only darken the dark of her heart where her own demon stood. But what good does such a game do, when all it does is slowly cause two hearts that were once so true, to harden towards the other for the pain it inflicts, all because it yet cannot admit that it loves? All it does is hurt, not just those hearts, but those claimed as trophies in such a game, and twist the light of the purity of love once beat.


Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee

Not because it makes me vulnerable. I have gotten past that. But because you are too much like me, the way I used to be, and that actually is a little "scary" for me. I did not let myself feel and eliminated all emotion even before I knew it existed, put up walls and barriers and no one got close, so much that I really never had awareness of myself or my heart until it was too late. But something changed to make me change that, for me to dare to bring down the barricade of ice and thorns that kept the world at a distance. And in being open I discovered more than I could have imagined for me. And you, you are like me, the me that I was, the one that pushes the one wanted the most, away, because it makes you vulnerable, and being vulnerable is not something you ever allow you to be, for being vulnerable opens you up to the possibility of being hurt, and being hurt means deep inner pain, unlike the physical pain you can brush off. It hurts me to know this, as much as it hurts me to try to let go of someone who my now open and strangely soft heart has so much care for, more than any before, and those that there were, rare even then, or now too. But you, you are the one who encompasses it all, nothing no other has ever managed before. So yes, I am vulnerable and I let myself be, because I love you more than I ever wanted to, and that is what "scares" me.

Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee

Beauty and pain go hand-in-hand. Like happiness and vulnerability. Live life unexpected but full of promise. Let the world see your wings, fragile as they might sometimes feel, for they have strength you yet do not know. Keep your heart, because even breaking means you feel, and if you do not feel you cannot truly live. I have learned this. Let what might break you make you. Exquisite pleasure plunged into darkness. Yet even in darkness there is light and that is where it shines the brightest. Where you do; turning tragedy into triumph, ashes into diamonds, soul finally truly free.


Words: © Rosie Chee​

Photographer: Tony Mitchell

Change is intended to create and cultivate GROWTH creating circumstances which force you to reevaluate your life, so that you can see and let go of whatever might hold you back. Often, whether we are consciously aware of it or not, or want to admit it to ourselves, FEAR is one of those things: Fear of becoming even more vulnerable or letting it be known, of leaving a "comfort zone" because it may be the only thing familiar to us, even if we are very uncomfortable there and want a "way out", but being honest with ourselves that we have no idea of what to do or where to go next.

Growth IS uncomfortable and can make you vulnerable, because it is often made in the most intense situations which place us in a position where NOT reaching out to another may cause further devastation, but it is a huge step because trust can be so thin because of experiences preceding the "turning point" of honesty with yourself about what is happening. It takes a lot of courage to confide in another soul, especially when your history has almost always been alone or loyalty betrayed, but sometimes people DO surprise you and you may find more than just a glimmer of hope if you risk taking that uncertain step.

Risk can sometimes be the test of whether or not we are truly ready to move FORWARD, for without it, taking that step, making a decision that we have absolutely no idea where it will take us, there may never be real opportunity for growth. Sometimes we HAVE to take that first step of trust to begin to "see our way again", blurry as it may be, because it means we want to move forward no matter the cost, knowing that anything is better than merely existing like we have felt became a way for a while.

Even if you have almost always "traveled" alone, there are times when it is better for your own wellbeing, and essential for your increasing enlightenment, to welcome the company of another soul beside your own. And not just for you, but for that soul too, it may mean the first step in their journey of courage and risk, desiring to break free from all that keeps them immobilized, willing to let go of any and all fear, to begin the process of truly LIVING again.

Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee

You cannot see it, but beneath the skin there lies a heart so deep it could drown the ocean. There is a soul that glows in the right light, even after it has been completely broken, although of late the darkness takes over more than is let known. But you cannot see it. For you have no idea what this woman has been through. All you have are superficial assumptions on everything about her based on how she looks.

You have no idea what makes her smile, or why her smile is the way it is. She smiles even when she feels buried in the dark, struggling to hold on, trying to decide whether her stubbornness to stay is hurting her more than the uncomfortable realization that if she simply disappeared it would likely make no difference. But you know nothing of that. All you see is a smile and to you that means everything is ok.

Her heart has hurt her more than once. With so much love to give, knowing no other way to be but non-judgmental and unconditional, it has taken more abuse than a heart should, and now it is tired. Her head is bowed, if only to rest her eyes for a moment, because her mind will not rest, not even for a second, scattered and shattered with more spaces and sights than reasonably existing in any one place.

Her story is not simple, even though she strives to make her life as simple as possible. Her simplicity is in the beautifully intricate weaving of the openness of her being with all that has wounded her, everyone who has ever crossed her path and the rare moments her soul found peace. Evolutionally ongoing, she is still learning how and trying to heal it all together.

© 2018 Rosie Chee​

Photographer: Carley Patmythes

It is not always going to be easy. You are going to love, and you are going to hurt. But it does not end there. Your story does not end with the pain, or the heartache, or the loss. That is only another beginning. Another beginning of learning to let go, of understanding that not everything and everyone you love is meant to last your lifetime. Every love has a lifetime in our own, even if it is brief, and each one changes us in ways we might never have imagined before we lived it. We have to remind ourselves to remember the love and the beauty of it, for it was real to us, and that means something. But we have to make ourselves leave it alone when it is time to go, for if we do not, then we only hurt ourselves. And ultimately, love is not meant to hurt, but to help us change and grow and bloom into more than we are. That is what we have to remember. That we do not have to always be hard, and that sometimes it is our vulnerability that first allows us those most precious moments of beauty. It is in our softness that we learn to love, when we take off our armour and let ourselves be seen for the soul within. And those who truly cherish that soul will not seek to break it, but encourage the strength within to be the light that seeps out, so that armour no longer needs to be worn.

© 2017 Rosie Chee​

Photographer: Carley Patmythes

You were just a dream -
brief, beautiful emotion;
now I must wake up

Haiku © 2017 Rosie Chee

Do you understand

that you feel like a starting

over point for me?

Haiku © 2017 Rosie Chee

Art by: Aaron Griffin

Such pain as I sit
in the light disappearing
slowly from my reach

Haiku © 2017 Rosie Chee

Art by: Alexandra GaudiBuendia Khitrova

ALL SHE WANTS

MOTIVATIONAL OF THE DAY


Be gentle with yourself. Just as everyone has their own path in life, so every flower blossoms and grows at different paces and in its own season. You are human and that means to be perfectly flawed. It does not mean you have to be indestructible, even if you want and have tried to be.


You don't have to have it all figured out before you move. Look inside for the answers you seek, deeper than you might have ever sought before, for when uncertain which turn to follow, that which you might not have truly been able to admit even to yourself rests quietly, waiting for you to be ready to listen and acknowledge.


As you do, be brave enough to be honest with yourself, to be vulnerable and open to face your weaknesses head on before any addictions and desires cause destruction irreparable. I have learnt this. The irony is that my angels and my demons, though often at odds with one another, much like my mind and my heart, are also the best of friends and would not survive long without the other, for as dark and light are two sides of the same coin, so are they in my Gemini soul.


© 2016 Rosie Chee