"You have to die a few times before you can really live." - Charles Bukowski

"Behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of pain..." - Bob Dylan

“I cannot change the heartbreak, but it has changed me.” – Stacie Martin

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift."

Seeing this quote and the words that I wrote another world and lifetime ago brings to mind what happened then and be thankful for it, as I now have no feeling or emotion looking back, only knowing that darkness is not only "given" by others but also experienced with and fallen into, and that it is not such a bad place, for think of the moon as it rests in the night, revealing more often than not more beauty, or such in different way, more soul truth, than what might or can ever be seen in day's light.

Words: © 2019 Rosie Chee

"Soul Tears" on March 16, 2019
captured through early hours of morning
Turned into Words: © Rosie Chee

"Soul Tears" of March 16, 2019

fallen through early hours of morning
Turned into Words: © Rosie Chee

Our lifetime is made up of many journeys. Journeys that make and break us, shape and mould us, past and present determining what we shall become in the future, the most important of all that of our soul, the path to spiritual enlightenment, the metamorphosis of our innermost core as we traverse the journeys of life. Each journey we take in the physical has spiritual ramifications and often affect us far more than what the world can see, turning our souls inside out, upside down, twisting and contorting it until we are not sure we will ever be able to recognize ourselves when we come out the other side of the purging fire.
Each journey we take and every person we cross paths with leaves a footprint on our soul, teaching us valuable lessons and to show us how significant we are in the fabric of the universe. Love and loss, success and tragedy, ecstasy and pain, are all tools of the world to touch us, to create the destiny of our souls, the tumultuous journey that will leave us tempered like the rarest and most beautiful of diamonds, born of the greatest pressure and heat, crushed beyond life itself and shining forth a brilliant light from an indomitable spirit.
With strength and purity of heart we will survive anything, our soul’s journey one that is never-ending, each step one step closer to becoming the highest being and ultimate version of us that we can aspire to.
Words: © Rosie Chee

You cannot see it, but beneath the skin there lies a heart so deep it could drown the ocean...you have no idea what this woman has been through...With so much love to give, knowing no other way to be but non-judgmental and unconditional, it has taken more abuse than a heart should, and now it is tired...her mind will not rest, not even for a second, scattered and shattered with more spaces and sights than reasonably existing in any one place...

Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee

#unapologeticaalyme #tattooed #Kiwi #Gemini

Is that what you want to do? Play a game of hearts? Turn me into the Queen of Hearts, the one who turns them, collects them, but remains cold throughout it all, none of them meaning anything to me, except the one I cannot have, for it denies it even belongs to me because it cannot admit to itself that the King of Hearts lost his heart to the Queen. Is that what you really want? To watch me see how many I can break, because you want to see if I will break, because the thought of allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable terrifies you to pieces, and you would rather hurt yourself and the one you love the most by trying to push away the one heart that truly loves you for nothing but you, demon king of hearts that you are, an angel at whose feet all hearts fall, without you even trying by your own admission. Is that what your heart wants? To watch the heart it wants the most grow cold playing a game that it plays only because it sees the game you play with it, when the only real one being played here is your own heart, which draws more distant with every heart it sees its love claim, all because it is too proud to admit that the one who does not fall fell, even as it was the same for the queen, whose heart came to love when it does not let itself love. Only hers was willing to take the risk and try for truth and the beauty of what this love could be, but instead the king drew himself away and forced her to watch as he denied his truth and sought to try to prove it false in toying with the rest of the world, making the queen despair and only darken the dark of her heart where her own demon stood. But what good does such a game do, when all it does is slowly cause two hearts that were once so true, to harden towards the other for the pain it inflicts, all because it yet cannot admit that it loves? All it does is hurt, not just those hearts, but those claimed as trophies in such a game, and twist the light of the purity of love once beat.


Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee

CRIMSON [FIRE] GODDESS


Embrace the fire.
Hell is your purifier,
flames the change
lighting your path,
reforging your heart
through the pain,
crimson stain glow
seeping to gold
weeping through your veins
altering your soul,
perception now enlightened,
your inner goddess awakened,
new power stirred,
strength found and grasped
in the heat
of passion that
sets you alight,
brighter than ever
in this world's darkness.
Darkness and light,
hell and heaven,
death and life,
destruction and growth,
pain and beauty,
you all at once.
Embrace it all.


Words: © Rosie Chee​

You cannot see it, but beneath the skin there lies a heart so deep it could drown the ocean. There is a soul that glows in the right light, even after it has been completely broken, although of late the darkness takes over more than is let known. But you cannot see it. For you have no idea what this woman has been through. All you have are superficial assumptions on everything about her based on how she looks.

You have no idea what makes her smile, or why her smile is the way it is. She smiles even when she feels buried in the dark, struggling to hold on, trying to decide whether her stubbornness to stay is hurting her more than the uncomfortable realization that if she simply disappeared it would likely make no difference. But you know nothing of that. All you see is a smile and to you that means everything is ok.

Her heart has hurt her more than once. With so much love to give, knowing no other way to be but non-judgmental and unconditional, it has taken more abuse than a heart should, and now it is tired. Her head is bowed, if only to rest her eyes for a moment, because her mind will not rest, not even for a second, scattered and shattered with more spaces and sights than reasonably existing in any one place.

Her story is not simple, even though she strives to make her life as simple as possible. Her simplicity is in the beautifully intricate weaving of the openness of her being with all that has wounded her, everyone who has ever crossed her path and the rare moments her soul found peace. Evolutionally ongoing, she is still learning how and trying to heal it all together.

Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee​

I know I am different. I have always known. And I have always accepted. It has never bothered me.

My soul has never bothered me. The way my heart was even as it was not. The colour of blood pearl always [one of my] favourite. And black a natural accompaniment to the welcomed embrace of darkness.

There is beauty in blood. In darkness. In pain. In fire.

Inspiration is found in pain. Through twisting beauty. In splintering a heart through mind and soul and wanting to destroy to escape the pain. Through actions sought to numb all feeling.

We change. Or accept. And embrace. It all.

I have. I am. I will. The soul knows what is real.

Angel and demon. Inked representation of what resides within this earthly vessel of blood and bone. But not what can be explained through words or ink or touch or look alone. Felt through a soul that sings both and celebrates the demon that lets the angel survive.

Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee​

THE GEMINI WOMAN

The Gemini woman smiles as she falls apart. You hurt her and she moves on; she forgives, but she never forgets, and once her trust has been torn, it may as well be broken, because very few broken things in her world ever get mended, and she does not bother to fix many of them, having the attitude that some things are better broken than together. No matter how precious that trust once was to her, she will do her best to try and forget, even if she can’t, only because if she always remembers she allows it power to destroy her all over again; even as she appears strong and invulnerable to the world, her demeanour a mask of coldness and strength, her heart an icy stronghold that does not seem to have any holes in it, her mind closed with a passion of fury, even as icy and fury are nothing close to what is truly going on inside her. She will smile when she looks at you, take part in life with you, but there are tears in her soul, falling with every painful smile, every look in your eyes, every word she speaks, knowing that you do not know and do not want to know and will never know, just having your own perspective on who she is and why she does what she does. She knows that people do not want to know the truth of another’s soul and so she is a chameleon for every person that crosses her path, a different creature for every man, even as every face she shows is an aspect of her and not a genuine mask, for she is a woman with many personalities, like a diamond in how multifaceted she is; but also like a diamond, albeit rough at times, in how she appears and comes across, for not everyone will see her sparkle and shine, but only glimpse the promise of the beauty that she could be.

Words: © Rosie Chee

The journey to higher awareness and greater awakening is not one all "succeed" through, but it is one the healing warrior understands only too well. Those moments, the breaking, they are never easy, no matter how many times you go through them, or for whatever reason. They are never easy. And it takes a lot of courage to keep going, to bring yourself to continue showing up in the world when you want to disappear from it altogether sometimes. It takes strength to walk among the calm and show nothing of the chaotic storm going on inside, to give a smile because you know that you never know what another may be going through and it could be the difference they need today. It takes more than many may ever know, to process the pain and accept the lesson trying to be taught through it, because you know that you cannot just accept it but have to know it, truly know, deep down in your soul, not only in your head and felt in your heart.

Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee

COLD

I cannot even
begin to explain the hurt
that you make me feel

Haiku © 2017 Rosie Chee

Art by: Jason Levesque

I won't let the stain
of tears darken the fire of
the light of my soul

Haiku © 2017 Rosie Chee​

Art by: Daniel Taylor

Sadly I know too
many broken promises
to believe again

Haiku © 2017 Rosie Chee