Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
April 2, 2019
Words: © 2019 Rosie Chee
March 21, 2019
"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift."
Seeing this quote and the words that I wrote another world and lifetime ago brings to mind what happened then and be thankful for it, as I now have no feeling or emotion looking back, only knowing that darkness is not only "given" by others but also experienced with and fallen into, and that it is not such a bad place, for think of the moon as it rests in the night, revealing more often than not more beauty, or such in different way, more soul truth, than what might or can ever be seen in day's light.
Words: © 2019 Rosie Chee
March 16, 2019
November 29, 2018
You cannot see it, but beneath the skin there lies a heart so deep it could drown the ocean...you have no idea what this woman has been through...With so much love to give, knowing no other way to be but non-judgmental and unconditional, it has taken more abuse than a heart should, and now it is tired...her mind will not rest, not even for a second, scattered and shattered with more spaces and sights than reasonably existing in any one place...
Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee
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| #unapologeticaalyme #tattooed #Kiwi #Gemini |
November 21, 2018
Is that what you want to do? Play a game of hearts? Turn me into the Queen of Hearts, the one who turns them, collects them, but remains cold throughout it all, none of them meaning anything to me, except the one I cannot have, for it denies it even belongs to me because it cannot admit to itself that the King of Hearts lost his heart to the Queen. Is that what you really want? To watch me see how many I can break, because you want to see if I will break, because the thought of allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable terrifies you to pieces, and you would rather hurt yourself and the one you love the most by trying to push away the one heart that truly loves you for nothing but you, demon king of hearts that you are, an angel at whose feet all hearts fall, without you even trying by your own admission. Is that what your heart wants? To watch the heart it wants the most grow cold playing a game that it plays only because it sees the game you play with it, when the only real one being played here is your own heart, which draws more distant with every heart it sees its love claim, all because it is too proud to admit that the one who does not fall fell, even as it was the same for the queen, whose heart came to love when it does not let itself love. Only hers was willing to take the risk and try for truth and the beauty of what this love could be, but instead the king drew himself away and forced her to watch as he denied his truth and sought to try to prove it false in toying with the rest of the world, making the queen despair and only darken the dark of her heart where her own demon stood. But what good does such a game do, when all it does is slowly cause two hearts that were once so true, to harden towards the other for the pain it inflicts, all because it yet cannot admit that it loves? All it does is hurt, not just those hearts, but those claimed as trophies in such a game, and twist the light of the purity of love once beat.
Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee
November 11, 2018
November 3, 2018
A CANDLE FOR YOU
In my heart I have lit a candle. That candle is for you. Loss is a part of life and everyone experiences it. Everyone deals with it in their OWN way. I will NOT mourn your loss, but rather CELEBRATE your presence in my life, the difference that it made, cherish the memories, to remember you with a smile. Having lit this candle means that I am letting go, or trying to, even as I remember every little thing that you brought to my life, the beauty and happiness, laughter and joy, the new dreams you sparked in my heart, and the wonder that you opened my eyes to.
You are gone from me and I cannot help you if you will not let me. Never forget that you will ALWAYS be a part of me, no matter where you have gone to, where your soul lies, in this world or the next. The loss of you is crippling, but it is one that I will bear with a smile even as tears saturate my soul. Even as those tears flood my heart I will NOT mourn your absence, for without having known you I would not be who I am today, would never have known what it was like to glimpse heaven, even if I was not allowed to touch it, and hold that hope in my soul, have that light to see me through the darkness.
The candle I have lit will always burn bright. It will always remind me of the wonder of you, the BLESSING. It is my way of dealing with your loss, this tragedy that no one could ever possibly know about. It is my burden to bear, even as it is not a burden, because it lights my heart with something I would never have had if not for my soul touching yours across the distance in the time that we had. This candle is my memory of you, the light of the love that nothing can ever replace or be dearer than, and allow me to move FORWARD with my life, thankful for such a gift to be left with.
Words: © Rosie Chee
October 17, 2018
October 13, 2018
"Love with a fierce urgency. Never giving a glimmer of reason for anyone to second guess you." - j. iron word
These words, as I support loved ones left, honouring a friend lost too soon, are just another reminder of how little we truly know of the time we have left. I know I changed the most after this particular loss last year. I welcomed all aspects of life and its possibility. You were supposed to be home, buddy, the day I left for my other one. I hope you know how much I began to risk even more, to keep my heart and soul open to love and its hope, after you were gone. I hope you know that your untimely departure from us was a sharp reminder to do what makes me happy, and even now, I am reinking it on my soul, to do and be. I love and will love and have no regrets or to hence hold back from it, for in that love I am truly free.
Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee
#gonebutnotforgotten Chase Shott
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| #smile #justme #normal #natural #nomakeup #glasses #tattooed #Kiwi #Gemini |
June 22, 2018
THE GEMINI WOMAN
The Gemini woman smiles as she falls apart. You hurt her and she moves on; she forgives, but she never forgets, and once her trust has been torn, it may as well be broken, because very few broken things in her world ever get mended, and she does not bother to fix many of them, having the attitude that some things are better broken than together. No matter how precious that trust once was to her, she will do her best to try and forget, even if she can’t, only because if she always remembers she allows it power to destroy her all over again; even as she appears strong and invulnerable to the world, her demeanour a mask of coldness and strength, her heart an icy stronghold that does not seem to have any holes in it, her mind closed with a passion of fury, even as icy and fury are nothing close to what is truly going on inside her. She will smile when she looks at you, take part in life with you, but there are tears in her soul, falling with every painful smile, every look in your eyes, every word she speaks, knowing that you do not know and do not want to know and will never know, just having your own perspective on who she is and why she does what she does. She knows that people do not want to know the truth of another’s soul and so she is a chameleon for every person that crosses her path, a different creature for every man, even as every face she shows is an aspect of her and not a genuine mask, for she is a woman with many personalities, like a diamond in how multifaceted she is; but also like a diamond, albeit rough at times, in how she appears and comes across, for not everyone will see her sparkle and shine, but only glimpse the promise of the beauty that she could be.
Words: © Rosie Chee
December 14, 2017
It is not always going to be easy. You are going to love, and you are going to hurt. But it does not end there. Your story does not end with the pain, or the heartache, or the loss. That is only another beginning. Another beginning of learning to let go, of understanding that not everything and everyone you love is meant to last your lifetime. Every love has a lifetime in our own, even if it is brief, and each one changes us in ways we might never have imagined before we lived it. We have to remind ourselves to remember the love and the beauty of it, for it was real to us, and that means something. But we have to make ourselves leave it alone when it is time to go, for if we do not, then we only hurt ourselves. And ultimately, love is not meant to hurt, but to help us change and grow and bloom into more than we are. That is what we have to remember. That we do not have to always be hard, and that sometimes it is our vulnerability that first allows us those most precious moments of beauty. It is in our softness that we learn to love, when we take off our armour and let ourselves be seen for the soul within. And those who truly cherish that soul will not seek to break it, but encourage the strength within to be the light that seeps out, so that armour no longer needs to be worn.
© 2017 Rosie Chee
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| Photographer: Carley Patmythes |
April 11, 2017
"It's a strange thing," she said, "to miss the one you love the most, and yet it be as if they never left."
"I don't understand." He looked confused. "How can you miss someone who is still here?"
"It's not something everyone gets," she sighed, "but the artists, the lovers, those who feel the soul in the world - they do; they know."
He shook his head, as if she spoke a language he did not understand. And she did. And it was sad.
Because he was the one she missed most of all.
© 2017 Rosie Chee
April 8, 2017
March 24, 2017
March 12, 2017
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