A CANDLE FOR YOU

In my heart I have lit a candle. That candle is for you. Loss is a part of life and everyone experiences it. Everyone deals with it in their OWN way. I will NOT mourn your loss, but rather CELEBRATE your presence in my life, the difference that it made, cherish the memories, to remember you with a smile. Having lit this candle means that I am letting go, or trying to, even as I remember every little thing that you brought to my life, the beauty and happiness, laughter and joy, the new dreams you sparked in my heart, and the wonder that you opened my eyes to.

You are gone from me and I cannot help you if you will not let me. Never forget that you will ALWAYS be a part of me, no matter where you have gone to, where your soul lies, in this world or the next. The loss of you is crippling, but it is one that I will bear with a smile even as tears saturate my soul. Even as those tears flood my heart I will NOT mourn your absence, for without having known you I would not be who I am today, would never have known what it was like to glimpse heaven, even if I was not allowed to touch it, and hold that hope in my soul, have that light to see me through the darkness.

The candle I have lit will always burn bright. It will always remind me of the wonder of you, the BLESSING. It is my way of dealing with your loss, this tragedy that no one could ever possibly know about. It is my burden to bear, even as it is not a burden, because it lights my heart with something I would never have had if not for my soul touching yours across the distance in the time that we had. This candle is my memory of you, the light of the love that nothing can ever replace or be dearer than, and allow me to move FORWARD with my life, thankful for such a gift to be left with.

Words: © Rosie Chee​

ENERGY ATTRACTION


You're a fighter, like me. You've been through hell and come out the other side, not afraid to walk through the fire. You know who you are and have no fear in being all that is in you, living with purpose because anything else is unimaginable. You're real, authentic "true blue". You've seen the darkest parts of human souls, including your own, and it only makes you stronger, your fire burn brighter, your grit harder and more secure. You are loyal and fierce and refuse to lie down. You're a true warrior, a conscious decision to live life on your own terms no matter what it tries to throw at you. You've known heartache, but happiness too, and hope is not yet gone from your soul. You are energy I find myself drawn to, even if I don't yet understand why.


Words: © Rosie Chee​

SHE IS


Some days she's dark; some days she's light. No matter what, she's always true; she's always her - that you can trust. Her soul is dark with shimmers light, her heart black stained with crimson tears, her mind shattered but always sense. She holds madness in one hand and peace in the other, each as much a part of her as her smile, or tears, or eyes that look through your soul. She can hide with the best of them, assumptions and impressions all the world once knew of her, until she chose to share herself, and in her vulnerability let slip too much, the truth behind the mask now seen: The love behind the distance, empathy behind the cold, pain behind the indifference, an aching beyond the loneliness that she rarely sets free. There is a soul unlike any other, an oxymoron complete, for she is as she is not, a complexity few will - if ever - understand. Both woman and girl, enlightened though innocent and anything but, a soul forever young even as it has lived lifetimes; a Gemini is she, but so much more than can ever be explained by words. She just simply is and will always be. Me.


© Rosie Chee

2012 | Day 131: I Cannot be False to My Heart

MOTIVATIONAL OF THE DAY

Stay TRUE to YOU

Stay TRUE to yourself and all that you are. Hold tight to your dreams and goals, never letting anyone deter you from the possibility of them coming to life. Stay firm in your beliefs and convictions, steadfast in what you stand for. Never let the words of anyone who does not believe in you affect the decisions you make and the actions you take. Hold your character in the highest regard, for it is the true measure of your worth. Stay strong and keep your heart for the one who will value it, and see it as the most precious thing in the world. Never compromise yourself for fleeting moments of pleasure or the easy way out, knowing that staying true to yourself and working hard for what you want is the only real way to satisfaction of purpose. Go after what you want with all the passion that you have, pouring yourself into everything that makes you happy and gives you a smile. Laugh at the world and life, whether you agree with it or not, preparing to accept the good with the bad, the ugly with the beauty, the lies with the truth, because that is the nature of man. Never let anyone tell you what to do and who to be, for they are not you and can never be, your life your own and no one else’s. Take ownership of your life and stay TRUE to YOU – all that you are, can, and will be.

Quote for Reflection:

TRAINING

Skip x 1,500 revolutions

Full-Body (30 sec rest between quadsets):
QuadSet A -
1. Rope Crunches 3 x 20
2. Reverse Curls (on floor) 3 x 10
3. Swissball Crunches (270 degrees to 180 degrees) 3 x20
4. Skip 3 x 100 revolutions
QuadSet B -
5. DB Bicep Curls 3 x 10
6. Alternate DB Hammer Bicep Curls 3 x 20
7. DB Hammer Curls 3 x 10
8. Skip 3 x 100 revolutions
QuadSet C -
9. Rear Flyes 3 x 10
10. Alternate Single-Arm Plate Lateral Raises 3 x 20
11. Plate Hammer Raises (each hand with individual plate) 3 x 10
12. Skip 3 x 100 revolutions
QuadSet D -
13. Neutral-Grip Seated Rows (each hand with individual handle) 3 x 10
14. Push-Ups (feet on bench, hands on fists) 3 x 10
15. Stiff-Legged BB Deadlifts (on bench, BB reach down six inches) 3 x 10
16. Skip 3 x 100 revolutions

Post-Weights Cardio:
Recline Bike 20 min @ 110-112 rpm

Stretch 39 min

OTHER NOTES

Sleep: Broken, waking often, having a lot of trouble falling back asleep.

Energy: Feel completely shattered and have since a quarter of the way through training.

Quality of Training: Despite not really "feeling it" today, I soldiered through, glad to be done.

Supplements: For some reason Erase PRO does NOT have the non-water-retentive effects of Erase (I made this observation prior to my time in Florida, but since being back, this week has confirmed it), and even though I am still using three caps of Erase a day, I AM holding onto water, so, like I did in the week prior to Florida's shoots, I am going to stop using Erase PRO and use two caps of Erase (as I used to instead), finishing up my last fives doses of Erase the last five days in May.