2012 | Day 159: I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow...don't wanna live like this today...

MOTIVATIONAL OF THE DAY

DO What You HAVE To Do For YOU

Life is always going to be full of things that we have no control over, no matter how much we wish in our hearts that it would change, or that people would change, and SEE us deep inside our soul for who we are and could be, and understand and appreciate what we have to give and offer. Sometimes the people we love the most are the people who we should NOT even care about, the people we should let GO of, because they are not the people who are THERE walking beside us through life, whether by some circumstances they cannot control even if they want to, or they simply don’t care.

The love I loved the most I lost before I even had a real chance to have it and know what it was like, taken from me by the one I loved the most because they did not have the courage or the strength in them to believe in something that could have been the most beautiful thing that life might ever have chanced them with. And even though I was ready to reach out my hand and step into that chance, I was pushed back and thrown down, cast away and let fall like a star falls from the sky in the deepest dark of night, a bright flash of light fading from existence, so fast that I wonder if anyone even noticed it was gone.

Some of the deepest sorrows we hold close when we need to let them GO. We hold onto memories and hope and faith when we should long have moved ON. We let it eat away at our souls, unconsciously destroying ourselves from WITHIN, until we are but shadows haunting this world with our presence, because we are no longer fully alive, lost and wandering, not wanting to find our way, because our way is gone from us and all that is left is the darkness that consumes what is left of our hearts, which are exhausted and just want to STOP and sleep and never wake up.

But that is not living, only merely existing and if we merely exist we may as well BE dead. Even though it hurts more than anything else ever might, we HAVE to open our eyes and realize what we are doing to ourselves, that life was NOT meant to be lived in darkness, our hearts not meant to lose hope, our souls not meant to be cast from the heavens into the pits of hell, not meant to STOP living, nor stop in our journey at all. We are meant to keep MOVING, moving FORWARD, because just because one person does not care enough about our soul does not mean that WE should give up on it as well.

We MUST keep moving forward, even if we don’t want to. We MUST do it for ourselves, because we know deep down in our innermost core that it is the BEST thing to do. It may take time as you grieve, to come out of the shadows, a mere whisper of life as you cautiously step back into the journey that is waiting for you. DON’T let someone else compromise your life and how it should be lived. Don’t let them take away your joy, your happiness, your ability to think and feel and wonder. Even if they are the best thing that could have ever happened to you, if they cause you to be like this, then they truly are NOT, and you must do what you know in your heart you NEED to do for YOU to LIVE your life the way you were MEANT to.

Quote for Reflection:

TRAINING

Day OFF

OTHER NOTES

Sleep: Went to bed just before 0230 this morning, but although completely shattered it took me a while to fall asleep. When I did, it was deep and black for ~5 hours. Still felt drained of all energy on waking, but got up for about half an hour before going back to bed, passing out for ~3 hours, dreaming this time, strange dreams.

Mental Acuity: My mind has been on the go since the time I got up for good and I can't believe how fast the time has gone. I've gotten a lot done, alert and ready!

Mood: Interesting. Odd. Just a combination of everything going on.

Energy: It's this week's day OFF training today, so whether I have energy or not doesn't matter. That said, I KNOW I could hammer out a training session if I wanted to and are SO tempted to - the only thing holding me back is the fact that my delt/biceps' tendons are still painful and the day of rest might do them so good.

Stress: High - stressing myself out, and it's not the "good"/productive stress I either.

Libido: In tune with my mood at the moment.

Joints: Constant pain in both delt/biceps' tendons now.

Body Composition: 8.9% bodyfat - a loss of 1.1% bodyfat over this last week (yes, due to a combination of multiple factors, I was not very happy to see that I was 10% bodyfat last week, and ashamed with myself so much so that it's taken this long to admit it since I have not been over 9.5% bodyfat in over a year - now I am doing my best to make sure I don't go over 9% bodyfat again). My delts and arms are both still symmetrical re girths (flexed and unflexed) and are looking so much better than they were (yes, even from 10 days ago - so the quantities of calories I have been consuming has helped some here, if nowhere else) - when I'm training, the separation in the muscles is becoming quite noticeable, and I like it. Now to just get my lower body to behave and slim back DOWN - more sprinting and evening runs in training from next week.

Training: Going to continue on with similar training that I did this week for the next few weeks, since my body has responded well to it - just adding in a couple more evening runs, since they definitely make me FEEL better.

Nutrition: It's been worse than usual and has not contributed to my "physical" feeling. I've been constantly "hungry" (like I was when I was using G8), eating anything and everything, not caring that 90% of what I have been consuming my body is sensitive to, or I simply do not even like or want it. The low after the high, I guess. STOPPING that now though, because my body deserves RESPECT and to be taken care of, not to be abused.

Supplements: Should have all MY "staples" back next week.

Other Notes: The June 2012 issue of FitnessX Magazine is out for viewing - you can read it online for free HERE.

Overall Sense of Feeling: I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO FOR ME. BACK ON TRACK!

2012 | Day 142: You're the only voice my heart can recognise

MOTIVATIONAL OF THE DAY

How Special You Are To Me

It hurts me to know you are hurting, to be so far away I can do nothing about it. It hurts me to know that you think yourself undeserving of love, unworthy of the one beautiful gift everyone should be blessed with. It hurts me to know something of your self-perception, because it is so far from the truth.

It hurts me watch you retreat, watch you disappear before returning, each time taking a part of my soul with you. If only that part of me could remind you of what I see, that if you were not who you are then I would not feel the way I do about you.

You are amazing. You are wonderful. You have given so much and expect nothing back. Life has kicked you down and yet you rise up every time. You fight back. You soldier on. Life has given you so many traumas, but still you are brave enough to look for the joy, trying to have fun with it.

We all make mistakes, but we also learn from them. We all have things we are ashamed of, but that does not make us any less of a person or less lovable. We all have that one person in the world, imperfect but perfect to us, beautiful and precious just the way they are.

YOU are beautiful and precious and so very SPECIAL to me. I only wish I could hold you and let you know just how much. Maybe then you would understand what I see and know and love.

Quote for Reflection:
 
 TRAINING

Session 1

HIIT Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 8 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 14 min jogging

Stretch 16 min

Session 2

Skip x 1,000 revolutions

Shoulders/Hamstrings (30 sec recovery between supersets):
SuperSet A -
1. Behind-the-neck BB Military Press 4 x 10, 8, 8, 6
2. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
SuperSet B -
3. Rear Flyes 4 x 12, 12, 12, 10
4. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
SuperSet C -
5. BB Military Press 4 x 10, 8, 8, 8
6. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
SuperSet D -
7. DB Clean and Press 4 x 8
8. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
SuperSet E -
9. DB Lateral Raises 4 x 10
10. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
SuperSet F -
11. Alternate Single-Arm DB Lateral Raises 4 x 8 per side
12. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
SuperSet G -
13. Stiff-Legged BB Deadlift (on box, reaching BB down 6 inches) 4 x 10
14. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
SuperSet H -
15. Swissball Leg Curls 4 x 10
16. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions

Post-Weights Cardio:
Recline Bike 20 min @ 108-110 rpm

Session 3

Run 3 miles

Stretch 5 min

OTHER NOTES

Sleep: Woke feeling like crap, but once I got "going", I was ok.

Mental Acuity: It's been a "thinking" day, my mind running even fastER than usual, myriad ideas and questions spinning around inside.

Mood: It has been one of the BEST mornings in a long time! I am SO looking forward to next week (it's going to be the best birthday ever - if only you were there, it would be "perfect"!) and the months ahead!

Joints: Both wrists caused issues at different points during training, so tried to be careful with them. Right anterior delt in the joint has also been sharp all day, since waking.

Pump: Strong and hard, almost from the start.

Vascularity: Stronger in left bicep than right and right forearm than left, but was great overall - call me odd, but I LIKE seeing it!

Quality of Training: HIIT was weird this morning - I had the most energy and speed that I have had in a long time, explosive from the start, but tiring quickly half-way through my sprints, tasting blood in my mouth for the first time in ages, feeling like I wanted to be sick...Resistance training was good - painful re delts and wrists, but I made sure to keep myself going, keeping the intensity high, finding it a little difficult to breathe at times (but not as bad as it has been of late), and nauseous a little as well (surprisingly)...Didn't feel like doing an evening run, but I am going to do whatever it takes now to ensure these last eight days make as much difference as possible - a little slower than usual, feeling how heavy my body was feeling, but also tightness in my left hip that had bothered me some during HIIT as well...

Other Notes: GOOD things are happening! I am so EXCITED!

Day 175: Believe in Yourself!

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Strong faith enables you to display your wisdom appropriately, so that you can take advantage of change and move forward in the direction of victory and hope. Life is all about faith...believe in yourself!! You can do it!!" - Larissa Reis


TRAINING

HIIT - Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 12 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 10 min jogging

Full-Body (30 sec recovery between alternate sets):
Alternate Set A -
1. Stiff-Legged BB Deadlifts (BB to touch floor) 4 x 12
2. Rope Crunches 4 x 25
Alternate Set B -
3. Alternate Backward Lunges (long stride) 4 x 12
4. Hanging Straight-Leg Raises (feet to touch bar) 4 x 12
Alternate Set C -
5. EZ-Bar Bicep Curls 4 x 12
6. Dips 4 x 10
Alternate Set D -
7. Alternate Hammer Bicep Curls 4 x 12 per side
8. Lateral Raises 4 x 10
Alternate Set E -
9. Plate Hammer Raises 4 x 10
10. Behind-the-neck BB Military Press 4 x 10
Alternate Set F -
11. Push-Ups (feet on floor, hands fists) 4 x 10
12. Reverse Rows (feet on bench) 4 x 10

Post-Weights Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 100-102 rpm

Stretch 24 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: Solid ~6 hours.

Mood/Aggression: Pretty happy. Bit of a confidence boost seeing my body statistics today, giving me more belief and faith in myself than ever, knowing that I will DEFINITELY achieve the condition I want to!

Energy: There.

Mental Focus and Clarity: Been a busy last couple of days, and more ahead. Getting ready to relocate to Texas next week, so things are busy-busy.

Joints: The last week has seen some grinding in my left elbow and anterior deltoid when doing curling exercises, which is interesting.

Endurance: Great.

Vascularity: Sweet!

Quality of Training: HIIT was good - speed back, body doing as it was told. Resistance training I was also pleased with - changes here and there, just to make sure that my body is not getting complacent. Post-weights rollers for recovery.

Recovery: My eyes are tired, but my body is fresh.

Body Composition and Look: 107.2 pounds at 8% bodyfat. As of today, I am in the best aesthetic condition of my life to date - which is exciting, because it's just going to get better! The last time I was 8% bodyfat was for my first professional photoshoot the week before I came to the US - there is a HUGE difference in my figure from then to now, though, with more muscle mass in my upper body and having slimmed my lower body down a little as well. My waist is the smallest it has ever been, my deltoids and arms the biggest they have ever been. My hips/glutes and thighs almost two inches smaller than they were just over a month ago (coincidentally, a month ago, I was about the same measurements as I was the last time I was 8% bodyfat), which I am stoked with - going to have to stop ALL work for Legs though, to help slim them down more, since I want another half an inch gone off my lower body there. All in all, very positive, and all withOUT having dieted - just goes to show that getting and staying lean CAN be done withOUT being silly with your nutrition; it's all about finding what works for YOU!

Other Notes: Progress is going well. I'm looking forward to the next three weeks!

Day 159: Dare to be Different!

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary." - Cecil Beaton


TRAINING

HIIT - Rollers:
a. 4 min in 39x18 @ 100 rpm
b. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy in 39x17 (rpm N/A)
c. 12 min in 39x18 @ 104 rpm

Stretch 26 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~7 hours, waking only once.

Mood/Aggression: A few ups and downs, but nothing out of the ordinary, focusing on the positive and what is going well, working on changing anything I am not pleased with.

Energy: Seriously, for the last few days I have been as restless as hell, literally bouncing around the house with endless energy that I have to restrain.

Mental Focus and Clarity: My head is clear. Managing to get a lot done and sorted out.

Endurance: Normal. From now on, unless this changes, I probably won't comment on it.

Quality of Training: Sticking to plan and doing HIIT on the rollers. A little easier than in previous weeks, so next week, going to up my gears re efforts, and possibly pace as well for non-effort periods.

Recovery: Fresh. Amazing what the right combination of training, recovery, and nutrition can do.

Day 156: Bring on June!

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Ask yourself "What can I do different today to better myself as an individual so that I can better others." Humility is remaining teachable." - Ben Booker


TRAINING

Day OFF.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~2 hours. Back to sleep though (thankfully) for another ~3 hours, giving a total of ~5 hours, which is perfect for me re function.

Mood/Aggression: Good.

Energy: I'm going to do some yardwork later today when it's cooler.

Mental Focus and Clarity: On the ball. Mind is clear - had to make a couple of hard decisions today, but I know where I am headed, what I want to achieve.

Body Composition and Look: 111.2 pounds at 8.8% bodyfat. So, nothing spectacular like the 1.1% bodyfat loss of last week. However, when you break it down, it IS something - a gain of 1.2044 pounds of lean body mass and a LOSS of 0.0044 pounds of bodyfat. A mix of change in training venues and how I improvised re training, as well as nutrition. Pleased with the progress, even though it was only a loss of 0.1% bodyfat. But - next week had better be another ~1.1% bodyfat loss!

Other Notes: ~1.5 weeks until my photoshoot with Dan Ray, ~3 weeks until my photoshoots with Walt Ostarly, and ~6 weeks to competition - exciting times ahead!

Day 152: BELIEVE!

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Simply put...belief is power! If you don't believe it yourself, with everything you have, then it won't happen! Start listening to that little voice today!" - Ben Booker


TRAINING

HIIT - Rollers:
a. 4 min in 39x18 @ 100 rpm
b. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy in 39x17 (RPM N/A)
c. 12 min in 39x18 @ 104-106 rpm

Stretch 24 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: Sleep on and off, but ~8 hours in total.

Mood/Aggression: Positive. Looking at only what CAN be done and WILL be done. Believing!

Energy: Surprisingly, there - although, shouldn't be surprised, since I had a whole lot of carbohydrates pre-bed yesterday, LOL.

Mental Focus and Clarity: Focused. Clear.

Endurance: Fine.

Quality of Training: Like last week, decided to do this HIIT session on the rollers. A little easier than last week, but still intense. Doing my legs a world of good . . . Posing Practice today was still fairly short, but I FINALLY got my T-Walk poses down and had a "stage presence" - now to KEEP that and bring it out flawlessly on stage! . . .

Recovery: Body feels great!

Day 142: Get out there and get what you want!

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Don't let fear of a failure stop you from showing everyone how great you are. Failure is one of the building blocks to greatness. Now get out there and get what you want." - Nate Tillson


TRAINING

None - this week's scheduled Day Off (although I DID spend an hour out in the heat of the day mowing the lawns for "active recovery", LOL).


COMMENTS

Mood/Aggression: Severe high and lows. Serious rollercoaster today.

Energy: Returning - should be back to "normal" next week!

Mental Focus and Clarity: Been working through a lot of things today.

Stress: HIGH.

Body Composition and Look: 10% bodyfat . So, gained 1% bodyfat over the last week - not surprising given the way I have been feeling and the lack of training whilst eating almost uncontrollably everything in sight! But VERY disappointed in myself (I NEVER want to go above 10% bodyfat in my life ever again, maintaining close to 8% once I get back there)! A 1% bodyfat increase in a week. If I can gain it, then I can LOSE it (and I HAVE lost 1% bodyfat in a week before)!

Other Notes: Because I want to lose ~1% bodyfat a week from now on, I went back over my training and nutrition to the week where I DID do this, and I am going to implement that training and nutritional regime from now on. So, from tomorrow, training will be:

Monday: HIIT Cardio + Stretch 20-30 min + Shoulders/Hamstrings

Tuesday: Cardio 20 min + Stretch 20-30 min + Arms/Abs

Wednesday: HIIT Cardio + Stretch 20-30 min

Thursday: Cardio 20 min + Stretch 20-30 min + Back/Chest

Friday: HIIT Cardio + Stretch 20-30 min + Full-Body

Saturday: Cardio 20 min + Stretch 20-30 min

Sunday: Day Off

Competition Notes: Posing Practice didn't happen this week, so I will be starting this tomorrow.

Day 140: A Way of Life

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY




TRAINING

HIIT - Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 8 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 8 min jogging

Shoulders/Arms/Abs (1 min recovery between trisets):
Triset A -
1. Behind-the-neck BB Military Press 4 x 10
2. BB Military Press 4 x 10
3. Single-Arm DB Lateral Raises 4 x 10 per side
Triset B -
4. Dips 4 x 10
5. EZ-Bar Bicep Curls 4 x 12
6. Alternate DB Hammer Curls 4 x 12 per side
Triset C -
7. Seated Cable Crunches 4 x 12
8. Reverse Curls (on floor) 4 x 12
9. Bicycle 4 x 24

Stretch 25 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: 7-8 hours. Hmmmmm.

Mood/Aggression: Mood has been pretty good today.

Energy: Although far from "normal" yet, my energy is returning.

Mental Focus and Clarity: My mind is "making up" for my lack of energy with all the thinking and work it's been doing.

Stress: High.

Endurance: Good.

Vascularity: YES!

Quality of Training: HIIT was ok. Explosive, although faltering during the last couple of sprints, as breathing suddenly became very difficult, adding to the sore stomach, lasting until I finished the run . . . Resistance training was ok. I was determined to get it done, since it's been two days since I've done one. Got through, despite the sharp pain in my temples after every set of Dip (which was odd). Finished with the weights - no rollers afterwards . . .

Other Notes: From next week on, almost every week is going to be a "mock week-pre-competition" week, since my body is no longer being predictable in its responses to nutrition OR training, to find the best method to get me the progress and results I want, because I want to be IN competition condition 3-4 weeks out!

Day 130: It's a Journey to Success

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"You don't gain success from taking one big step. You gain success from taking several smaller steps over a period of time. Small victories. One day you lift your head up and notice that you've already accomplished your goal, and that the satisfaction and happiness was in the journey not the destination." - Nick Smith


TRAINING

Cardio - CrossRamp:
a. 2 min @ CR10/R10
b. 18 min @ CR10/R8

Full-Body (30 sec recovery between alternate sets):
Alternate Set A -
1. Alternate Backward DB Lunges 6 x 12
2. Side-to-side Plyometric Bench Jumps 6 x 24
Alternate Set B -
3. Flat BB Bench Press 6 x 12
4. Close-Grip V-Bar Seated Rows 6 x 12
Alternate Set C -
5. Seated DB Shoulder Press 6 x 12
6. Incline DB Rear Raises 6 x 12
Alternate Set D -
7. V-Bar Tricep Push-Downs 6 x 12
8. DB hammer Bicep Curls 6 x 12
Alternate Set E -
9. Rope Crunches 6 x 15
10. Bicycles 6 x 30

Post-Weights Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 102 rpm

Stretch 23 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: Same as yesterday, waking after ~3 hours, getting up and taking my "first thing" supplement doses, and then back to bed, passing out for another hour - didn't feel like I slept that hour at all, but I did, because the clock changed.

Mood/Aggression: More up and down, but mostly up, with many smiles.

Energy: More than yesterday, but not a lot, honestly, and I nearly fell down the stairs (thankfully I didn't) when I went to sit on my rollers after the gym. I just feel completely exhausted - a lot to do with the heat, I believe, since it is stifling and draining; but also some effects from training, since that has been pretty intense.

Mental Focus and Clarity: I have a migraine that makes me not want to do much that requires thinking, but I am pushing past it, because this is an IMPORTANT week and I HAVE to be on the ball for it.

Stress: High.

Joints: My right knee has settled down, with no more pain.

Endurance: Excellent.

Strength: Focus on INTENSITY rather than strength.

Pump: Strong.

Vascularity: Very awesome. Whilst I have more definition (from more muscle and being leaner) in my left side, my right side actually usually has higher vascularity than the former.

Quality of Training: Something different with the CrossRamp pre-weights . . . Resistance training was another 90-minute session. Started out well. Feeling quads after the CrossRamp and Alternate Set A, but moving around with slightly more vigor than yesterday. Migraine started halfway through Alternate Set B, but it didn't bother me as much as yesterday. Didn't have the desire to "stop" today, which was also good. Got nauseous during Alternate Set D, though, and I threw up twice during Alternate Set E (NOT cool). Body was definitely screaming sore afterwards . . . Like yesterday, not feeling like sitting on the rollers when I got home, but I did. I HAVE to just DO it, period! . . .

Recovery: I know that I'm feeling more shattered than usual.

Body Composition and Look: Lighting definitely makes a difference to how one looks - change the lighting and your body can look completely different. Regardless, please with the definition that is getting stronger in my deltoids and arms - now to have that definition (pump and vascularity) that I have when lifting when I am RELAXED (and in photoshoots); just means getting LEANER (which is the goal, since where I am now is not close to where I want to be).

Day 120: The Zahir

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"What we need to learn is always there before us, we just have to look around us with respect and admiration in order to discover where God is leading us and which step we should take next." - The Zahir (Paulo Coelho)


TRAINING

Cardio - Rollers:
a. 10 min in 39x18 @ 108-110 rpm
b. 10 min in 39x18 @ 114-116 rpm

Stretch 20 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~8 hours. Really?!

Mood/Aggression: Being calm, still, so that I can see and hear what I am supposed to.

Mental Focus and Clarity: Like you wouldn't believe.

Endurance: Good.

Quality of Training: Just an easy session today.

Other Notes: Two weeks until my photoshoot with Tony Mitchell! This is the time for the last of all "last chances", because after this there are NO more! "It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over." - The Zahir (Paulo Coelho).

Day 117: HIIT

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Don't let limiting beliefs stop you from becoming or doing what you were meant to do, or who you were meant to be." - Nick Smith


TRAINING

HIIT - Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 12 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 10 min jogging

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 110 rpm

Stretch 24 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~6 hours. Broken.

Mood/Aggression: Staying positive, keeping my spirit uplifted.

Energy: A lot - not sure why, since when I spend less time training, I usually get tired easily.

Mental Focus and Clarity: I've done quite a bit today so far.

Endurance: Great.

Quality of Training: HIIT was perfect. Sprints were fast and pace was quick for the rest of the session. Temperature outside was just right. Rollers afterwards was higher paced than the "usual recovery", but my legs felt fresh

Day 115: First Day of Week Off

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Sure I am this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond our endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us." - Winston Churchill


TRAINING

HIIT - Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 8 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 4 min jogging

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 106-108 rpm

Stretch 29 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~8 hours. Sleeping patterns still all over the place. Using this week to get them back on track as I WANT them!

Mood/Aggression: A little apprehensive about having a week off training so close to a photoshoot, but knowing that I will be able to come back harder than ever after it, hopefully make better progress than if I forced my body to slog it out this week like I tried to last week.

Energy: Enough to do what had to be done.

Mental Focus and Clarity: GOT to be there.

Stress: HIGH!

Endurance: Good.

Quality of Training: Since it is a "Week Off", only did eight sprints today. Finished off with rollers.

Recovery: This WHOLE week is about recovery.

Other Notes: I use the last of my IGF-2 tomorrow, so I will pretty much be using the bare minimum of basic staples this week.

Day 113: Dutch Almond Butter Cake

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." - John 3:16


TRAINING

None - FORCED myself to resist the urge to allow myself to do even cardio! So very hard!


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~2 hours, if that. Could NOT fall asleep last night/this morning, up and down and in and out of bed for hours, tossing with being so hot, burning up when everyone else was wearing LAYERS.

Mood/Aggression: Calm.

Energy: Pushing it down so that my body can have some rest.

Mental Focus and Clarity: Even though I went back to bed mid-morning I could NOT go back to sleep, and I've actually accomplished a lot today, surprisingly.

Recovery: Giving my body what it needs.

Other Notes: I made a Dutch Almond Butter Cake today - for tomorrow. It's my most favourite cake and it's the first time I have made it (I'm not a baker and have to be in "the mood" for it - much like I am with stuff like gardening, LOL). Anyways, it's already Easter in New Zealand, so going to ring the family again soon, but wishing everyone a Blessed Easter no matter where they are. Without this day in history (or those preceding it), we would have no chance at Eternity!

Day 112: It's been 26 weeks since my last week off training

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28


TRAINING

HIIT - Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 12 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 12 min jogging

Stretch 25 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~4 hours, but very broken, waking almost on every hour. After ~30 minutes up, I closed my eyes and passed out for a further two hours.

Mood/Aggression: Now that I know why I have been feeling like this the last week, bit better, knowing what I have to do to make things right.

Energy: Have been pretty dead all day - even wanting to go back to bed or pass out at random times since getting up and after training.

Mental Focus and Clarity: Haven't had too much today - which is ok, since my laptop has crashed for the umpteenth time (a serious virus got to it - NOT cool) and it has been all day (and still going) trying to fix it and recover everything, so it's going to be out of commission for a few days (lucky that we have a desktop as well, although all MY stuff and data is on my laptop. which means that I can't do anything much without it and are going to have to redo a lot of things once it is up and running again).

Endurance: Fine.

Quality of Training: HIIT was ok. Felt myself really die after I'd finished my sprints though, pace slow afterwards.

Recovery: This week is supposed to be a "recovery" week - "recovery" compared to the two weeks before it, and so far it has been but not at the same time. My body this last week has been telling me something and I only today figured out what it was - it needs PROPER recovery time (more notes on this under "Other Notes") and so I am going to be content with the resistance sessions that I have already done this week and have the weekend completely OFF ALL training.

Body Composition and Look: 115 pounds at 9.6% bodyfat. A surprise, but not a surprise. A surprise, because I LOOK like I have lost more than 0.2% and I was so sure I had lost more, with 99% perfect training and nutrition (only one "cheat" day). Not a surprise, because the weeks where everything is 99-100% "perfect" (as I deem it), I make the LEAST progress re fat loss. Makes sense, even though it doesn't. Makes sense, because of the reasons I mentioned for it NOT being a surprise, and over the last 6-7 weeks, whenever I have done things 99-100% "perfect", I have only lose 0.2% bodyfat each of those weeks. Doesn't make sense because the better one's nutrition and on track their training, the better progress and faster results they should be making - my body seems to work in REVERSE! . . . Interestingly enough, over the last few weeks, the skinfolds in my upper body have NOT changed at all, even though my upper body girths HAVE (for example, my unflexed arm girth has decreased, whilst my flexed arm girth has INcreased), and the definition there has become more noticeable, appearing as if I have lost bodyfat there, indicating the highly likelihood of the addition of more lean muscle mass . . . I have ~3 weeks to reach at a MAXIMUM ~8% bodyfat - I know I can do this, and I WILL, because nothing higher will be acceptable! . . .

Other Notes: It hit me when I was doing my HIIT - it has been 16 weeks since I last had a week off resistance training (i.e. the last week in December), and 26 weeks since I last had a complete week off ALL training! No wonder my body is fighting me this week and appears worn out - it's time for a break (I can train for ~16 weeks before my body needs a "break"), because even my "easy" weeks lately are not really "easy" weeks. Not only that, but progress has slowed, and the last time it did that, the week after a week off resistance training I got the best progress re fat loss ever! Therefore, even though I have a photoshoot in three weeks, next week is going to be my "Week Off", with only 3-6 days of a cardio session of ~20 minutes (no more COMPLETE weeks off ALL training for me, with a week off being at LEAST three HIIT sessions of 12-20 minutes, if no more) . . . I have also noticed over the last 6-7 weeks that I have made the most progress - nutrition aside - during the weeks where I have only done ONE resistance training session on the days I have assigned weights. So, interesting. Thus, henceforth, training re resistance session will return to being done ONE only a day, and first thing . . . After next week, for a couple of weeks, I am going to follow my week-pre-competition training schedule in preparation for my photoshoot with Tony Mitchell mid-May (training changes below) . . .

25 April to 1 May:

Week OFF RESISTANCE training, cardio on 3-5 days

From 2 May:

Monday: HIIT Cardio + Stretch 20-30 min + Full-Body

Tuesday: Cardio 20 min + Stretch 20-30 min + Full-Body

Wednesday: HIIT Cardio + Stretch 20-30 min + Upper Body

Thursday: Cardio 20 min + Stretch 20-30 min

Friday: HIIT Cardio + Stretch 20-30 min + Shoulders/Arms/Abs

Saturday: Cardio 20 min + Stretch 20-30 min

Sunday: Day Off

Day 110: Take the Risk!

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It doesn't matter how many times you fall down in life. It matters how many times you get up. Did you know that on average, successful people fail three times more often than unsuccessful people? It's true! What matters most in life is not necessarily what's happening right now. What matters most is how you finish. Are you going to finish strong? Are you going to make a difference in this world?" - Bill Willis


TRAINING

HIIT - Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 12 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 10 min jogging

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 100 rpm

Stretch 32 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~8 hours, interestingly enough.

Mood/Aggression: Stepping out in faith. Taking the risk.

Energy: I feel FRESH!

Mental Focus and Clarity: Calm. Clear. Collected. Focused.

Endurance: Stoked that this is getting close to being "normal" for me again.

Quality of Training: HIIT was good, even into the headwind for my sprints. The rollers just finished off the session.

Body Composition and Look: Curious for this week's body composition.

Other Notes: If you don't take the chance, you'll never know. Why not risk going after what you want? What do you have to lose? "Like a bird spreading their wings, you must open your mind and believe. The wider you spread your wings, the further you will fly." - Push Harder.

Day 108: Being Driven

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It's not a matter of can or cannot, it's a matter of will or will not, everything is a choice, choose wisely." - Ed Hillenbrand


TRAINING

Session 1

HIIT - Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 12 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 10 min jogging

Shoulders/Hamstrings (1 min recovery between sets):
1. Behind-the-neck BB Military Press 4 x 15, 12, 10, 8
2. BB Military Press 4 x 12, 10, 10, 10
3. Single-Arm DB Lateral Raises 4 x 10 per arm
4. Stiff-Legged BB Deadlifts 4 x 15

Post-Weights Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 100 rpm

Session 2

Cardio - Run:
1.5 miles @ 4.2 min/km pace

Shoulders/Hamstrings (1 min recovery between supersets):
Superset A -
1. DB Clean and Press 4 x 10
2. Seated DB Rear Raises 4 x 10
Superset B -
3. Single-Leg DB Deadlifts 4 x 10 per leg
4. DB Lateral Raises 4 x 10

Post-Weights Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 100 rpm

Stretch 22 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~8 hours. For some reason I was completely SHATTERED yesterday.

Mood/Aggression: See under "Other Notes".

Energy: Lagging a little during Session 1, but going to be the best for Session 2!

Mental Focus and Clarity: I am completely blown away!

Stress: My mind is light!

Libido: Tumultuous.

Endurance: Great.

Strength: Progressing.

Pump: Strong as ever.

Quality of Training: Session 1 - HIIT was great, loving the return of my speed endurance. Was a little lightheaded during the resistance session, but stuck it out, welcoming the pump and burn. Rollers afterwards helped me relax somewhat . . . Session 2 - Felt really fresh during pre-weights run, legs great. However, felt shattered during resistance training, not wanting to be there and getting irritated, wanting to throw the weights around. Didn't even want to sit on the rollers afterwards, but did anyway . . .

Appetite: It's time to STOP the "cheating", even if I have faster progress with it. It's time to make my higher calorie days all CLEAN. I can do this. I WILL do this, and I will make sure that I get the same progress and results taking better care of my body!

Other Notes: I have been blessed more than ever the last few days. EVERYthing that happens has a purpose and God is making things very clear for me. He knows my heart, what I long for and where my passion lies and He has a plan for me, maneouvring me exactly where I am supposed to be. The "bad" times and darkness were required to show me the light I had misplaced, reveal the truth I had stepped away from, to teach and prepare me for what is to come, to give me the courage to step out further and take the next risk. The more I trust in Him to drive me, the more doors and opportunities open up, and the more at peace my mind and spirit are!

Day 102: We are Blessed to be a Blessing

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"When you set your goal, visualize and believe it's already happened. Have belief in conviction in the end result. Put the right attitude and action in. Whatever forces are at bay, make it happen. If you've ever thought about making your dreams a reality, there's no better time than NOW." - Nick Smith


TRAINING

Session 1

Cardio - Run:
1.5 miles @ 4.2 min/km

Arms (30 sec recovery between alternate sets):
Alternate Set A -
1. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls 4 x 8
2. Weighted Dips 4 x 5
Alternate Set B -
3. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls 4 x 12
4. Dips 4 x 8
Alternate Set C -
5. Incline DB Bicep Curls 4 x 12
6. Flat Close-Grip BB Bench Press 4 x 5
Alternate Set D -
7. DB Zottoman Curls 4 x 12
8. V-Bar Tricep Push-Downs 4 x 8
Alternate Set E -
9. DB Concentration Curls 2 x 15 per arm
10. Alternate DB Hammer Curls 2 x 20

Post-Weights Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 100 rpm

Stretch 26 min.

Session 2

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 104-106 rpm


COMMENTS

Mood/Aggression: Doors are opening; opportunities are being created, made, and given; we are blessed to be a blessing to others.

Energy: Seems endless right now. My mood, mindset, and outlook is having a definite effect on this.

Mental Focus and Clarity: I have so much to think about and contemplate - life is starting to pick up the pace again and I'm ready to run with it!

Stress: High.

Libido: High and very random.

Joints: Left ankle was reminding me pre-weights that it's still tender, so I cut the distance back a little (and my cardio tonight will not place stress on my ankles). Left wrist has been very tight today, limited movement and slightly painful. Back is also tight, but the lesser of all the pains.

Endurance: Great.

Strength: This session was not so much about the weight.

Pump: Strong.

Vascularity: My left arm/side displays more muscle and definition than my right, and my right arm/side always has that noticeable difference with more prominent vascularity - all very interesting.

Quality of Training: Session 1 - Pre-weights run was ok. Resistance training was good - a few switches being made, my body preferring the longer session over the shorter ones that I have been doing the last few weeks (so definitely going back to the longer ones). Rollers was to help my legs out a little, since some DOMS in right hamstring after yesterday . . . Session 2 - Rollers at a slightly higher pace than I have been doing post-weights. The 39x18 gear seems to be the best at helping with my legs and definition without adding mass, so sticking with it. Because I have had a painful stomach I am going to do Abs tomorrow after HIIT . . .

Recovery: Right hamstring is tight, with a little DOMS after yesterday, but it's not really an issue. Passed out for about an hour mid-evening, showing how much the resistance session took out of me (could also have been contributed to with my stomach as well).

Other Notes: I started reading Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist today (recommended by Fran, who's just finished reading it). It's good so far - definitely a fitting book after going through Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life (which I am continuing to go back through as well).

Day 99: Perception, Reflection, and Foundation

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES OF THE DAY

"You have to sacrifice something to get something." - Evangeline Lilly

"No sacrifice, no victory." - Sam, Transformers


TRAINING

Cardio - Run:
5.6 km at 3.4 min/km

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 110 rpm

Stretch 31 min.


COMMENTS

Mood/Aggression: I got the chance to speak to my youngest sister this morning. If there is anyone who LIVES life, it is her. Our conversation lifted my spirits a little and gave me a few things to consider, renewing my determination for the path I have chosen to follow. The next 2-3 months are going to be used to continue and solidify the foundation that was unwittingly started several years ago, and then it will be creating the dream atop it.

Energy: I am a battery, LOL.

Mental Focus and Clarity: I have a LOT to think about.

Stress: HIGH.

Endurance: AMAZING!

Quality of Training: Training was later than planned because I got to talking to my youngest sister (I have all day to train, but it's not every day that I get to speak to my family). However, once I started - after an interesting, stimulating conversation that gave me a new perception on things - I decided to run for a little further than I have been (not a lot, but just a little). It didn't take me too much longer to run 3.5 miles than it has been to run ~3 miles, which was interesting, considering I didn't FEEL like I was running that fast. Apparently I was, my fitness has improved, my endurance, speed endurance, and speed, and this was my fastest paced run EVER! Very pleased. Because I felt so good I upped the pace on the rollers afterwards, my legs feeling amazingly GOOD!

Recovery: I feel as FRESH as ever - highly likely from all the carbohydrates I had last night before bed!

Other Notes: I finish my bottle of Alpha-T2 today, waiting on another.

Day 96: Never Give Up!

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"When you meet anyone, treat the event as a holy encounter. It's through others that we either find or love our self. For you see, nothing is accomplished without others. When you eliminate the concept of separation from your thoughts and your behavior, you begin to feel your connection to everything and everyone. So let's give it more." - Guy Francis


TRAINING

HIIT - Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 12 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 10 min jogging

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 100 rpm

Stretch 26 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~1.5 hours. Lay in bed for an hour after waking to try and go back to sleep, but my body didn't want it.

Mood/Aggression: Calmed down somewhat from the last week, but still in a good place.

Energy: I'm glad today was only HIIT.

Mental Focus and Clarity: For the lack of sleep, it's pretty great, actually.

Stress: HIGH.

Libido: The mood springs upon one at the most surprising times

Endurance: Good.

Vascularity: Strong blue lines.

Quality of Training: HIIT was good. Sprinting into a headwind again today. Last few sprints I started faltering, but pushed on. Once sprints were done, my body had only one pace for the rest of the session . . . Finished off with an easy bout on the rollers for legs' recovery . . .

Recovery: Yep, double resistance sessions in a day take that little bit more out of me.

Body Composition and Look: Getting closer . . .

Other Notes: Finished watching Gurran Lagann this morning (yes, I like anime, and have been making my way through several series as a way to relax before going to sleep if I am not reading or writing) - it's not my usual choice of anime, but once the first three episodes were past (the only thing they really had for them was how funny they were) it started really picking up and truly was an epic series. Another truly great example of what can be done when you believe in yourself and refuse to give up, even when everything seems against you and you are told it is impossible. Kamina's "Kick logic out and do the impossible" are true fighting words! Even in the face of surmountable odds, Simon's fighting spirit burned fierce, declaring "Never give up. The moment you give up it's over". No matter what you are told, forge your own path, silence the critics and disbelievers, and let your light shine!

Day 92: Purpose Has Passion

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"If God is going to do his deepest work in you, it will begin with this. So give it all to God: your past regrets, your present problems, your future ambitions, your fears, dreams, weaknesses, habits, hurts, and hang ups. Put Jesus Christ in the driver's seat of your life and take your hands off the steering wheel. Don't be afraid; nothing under his control can ever be out of control. Mastered by Christ, you can handle anything." - Rick Warren


TRAINING

Cardio - Run:
3 miles @ 3.5 min/km pace

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 100 rpm

Stretch 22 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: Very broken. The first time I woke up I was so lightheaded I could barely stand up. Gradually got better the next few times I woke up, until on my final waking when I decided to get up for good, I was fine.

Mood/Aggression: I feel like I did New Year's week - relaxed and at peace. A definite rarity for me and something I want to hold onto.

Energy: If my 3-mile run is anything to go by, my energy is "wow".

Mental Focus and Clarity: My head has never been clearer.

Endurance: Speed endurance is picking up

Quality of Training: 3-mile run was the fastest I have ever done re pace - for ANY run distance. Whilst it may not be fast for a runner, for me it is. This week my running has improved by leaps and bounds, not just in endurance, but speed (the speed aspect could also be because I am getting lighter). I am beyond stoked about it . . . Rollers for "recovery" afterwards . . . My enjoyment for training has returned this week, to STAY

Recovery: Every time I woke I could feel my body aching from yesterday's resistance session; however, now there is no feeling from it. I completed 20 minutes on the rollers after my 3-mile run for leg recovery - I'm thinking my doing this over the last week after almost every training session has been helping immensely. Doing only one training session "block" a day this week has also helped - looks like I'm going to have to make every third week like this one.

Appetite: This week every other day has been HIGHER than Maintenance, which has been interesting considering that I have made the MOST progress of the last three weeks this week.

Body Composition and Look: Hit 117 pounds this morning - definitely interested in seeing what my body composition is tomorrow, since this week I have seen the most physical progress of the last three weeks.

Other Notes: All my LipoBURN will be gone tomorrow, so it will just be twice daily application of 7-KE until I get some more LipoBURN.