2012 | Day 188: No Plan B

MOTIVATIONAL OF THE DAY

True Strength

Strength is not something you SEE. It is something you FEEL. Something you DISCOVER. Something that overpowers you with its presence that you can’t help BUT notice it.

Strength is what you find when you think you have NOTHING left. When you run out of options and REFUSE to give in, knowing that there is something MORE out there. Something to live FOR. Something to keep you going, because it is NOT yet the end for you.

Strength is the PASSION deep inside you. It is the WILLPOWER that drives you. It is the DETERMINATION to never ever give up no matter what. It is the TEARS that you hide, the smile that shows when you feel like you are shattering inside into a million pieces that will never be able to be put back together. It is the LOVE you give when you feel like you are empty of all emotion and have nothing left.

Strength is so much MORE than can ever be described. It is a trait of those who LIVE on, who have survived horrors and circumstances that would break the human soul. It is the foundation built with FAITH that there is more to life than what is currently happening. It is knowing that there is something BETTER coming, to be made, to be created, to be SOUGHT and FOUGHT for. It is NOT making or accepting excuses on failure to rise to the challenge and be ALL that you can be.

Quote for Reflection:

TRAINING

Skip x 300 revolutions

Arms (30 sec recovery between trisets):
TriSet A -
1. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls 4 x 6
2. Dips 4 x 6
3. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
TriSet B -
4. Alternate Incline DB Hammer Bicep Curls 4 x 16
5. Rope Tricep Push-Down 4 x 6
6. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
TriSet C -
7. Cable Bicep Curls (each hand with individual handle) 4 x 10
8. Overhead Rope Tricep Extensions 4 x 10
9. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions

Post-Weights Cardio:
Recline Bike 20 min @ 100-103 rpm

Stretch 20 min

OTHER NOTES

Sleep: Up an hour earlier than yesterday - only an hour off when I want to be getting up ALL the time henceforth, so let's make it tomorrow!

Energy: Fading again at ~1500, so headed home from work early, and no doing Abs as a second training session with cardio either (going to have to do this with Hamstrings tomorrow and make it five days re weights this week - no biggie).

Joints: Left wrist in so much pain today that I strapped it up for the second half of the day.

Quality of Training: Hit the heaviest body mass I have had in the last 3-4 years today (nothing to be proud of or happy with), and definitely felt it with Dips (who wouldn't feel an extra 20 pounds on their usual "comfort" mass?!), but knowing I am stronger as well, since tempo I slowed down on almost everything, despite the screaming in my wrists (THEY do not like the extra weight). No wonder my legs feel so heavy, and I hate the way I feel - got to TURN this around (I was 9.1% bodyfat on Sunday morning), no excuses (as embarrassed as I am to admit it, instead of going the way I wanted after my birthday I went in the complete OPPOSITE direction - the only consolation is that my delts and arms have grown more and are now the best that they have ever been, so will look better when I am leaner again).

Other Notes: As much as I hate to admit it, I have become rather dependent on my "staples" and being withOUT them, especially the stims (yes, one reason why I am fatiguing so easily is because I am perpetually anaemic - not iron deficient, but because of my blood disorder - and for some reason the stims seemed to help combat the usual fatigue I have) is a mini-nightmare. I don't feel much like me, even though I have been able to smile the last couple of days (work has been fun) and just want to return to my "normal" as SOON AS POSSIBLE!

Muscle and Strength: My first "fitness" article Breaking the Myth: "If I Lift Heavy I'll End Up Looking Like A Man!" (originally written for Applied Nutriceuticals and since published on multiple websites) has now been republished by Muscle and Strength - you can read it here.

Day 32: And my body keeps changing . . .

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Don't feed the negative habits. Eradicate them! We need to BREAK THROUGH old patterns and replace them with new POSITIVE, EMPOWERING habits. Create new challenges, set new standards for yourself. Live Life Well!!" - Nicole Acker


MUSIC VIDEO OF THE DAY

Sevendust - Redefine



Awesome movie - one of (if not THE) Jet Li's best! One of my favourite actors, he can act volumes with his eyes alone - truly one of the greats!


TRAINING

HIIT Cardio:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 8 x 20 sec sprint/40 sec rest
c. 4 min jogging

Stretch 10 min.

Shoulders (1 min recovery between supersets/trisets):
Superset A -
1. Behind-the-neck Military Press 4 x 12, 10, 8, 6
2. Single-Arm DB Lateral Raises 4 x 12, 10, 8, 6 per arm
Superset B -
3. BB Military Press 4 x 12
4. DB Hammer Raises 4 x 6
Triset -
5. DB Clean and Press 2 x 12
6. DB Lateral Raises 2 x 12
7. Seated DB Rear Raises 2 x 12
Superset C (no recovery between supersets) -
8. Rope Crunches 2 x 15
9. Plank 2 x 1 min

Post-Weights Cardio - Stepper:
20 min @ 12 floors/min

Stretch 10 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: All the extra sleep I have had the last couple of days must have 'filled' me up, LOL - I was still bright, bubbly, and wide-eyed when I should have been passed out cold. Ended up falling asleep for ~2 hours, perky and ready for the day.

Mood/Aggression: Good - gathering myself for the day.

Energy: Should have used that nervous energy yesterday, LOL. Energy today is great too - more focused, though.

Mental Focus and Clarity: Training is done, so now it's time to settle into some work.

Stress: Elevated.

Libido: When my stress levels get above a certain level, I have no interest in this - otherwise, no worries.

Joints: My right wrist had sharp pains yesterday. This morning, just lying in bed (yes, watching episodes of Basilisk, as I tried to fall asleep), my left wrist started twinging sharply, and this has continued throughout the day, with it feeling like it did not long after I got my cast off it during Post-Weights Cardio. Definitely hope the Erase starts working its magic by the end of the week!

Endurance: Great.

Strength: Same weights for the most part as last week, but for more reps, so improvement.

Pump: Strong.

Vascularity: Getting to be pretty good - in fact, got told the other day that I'm starting to get "double" veins through my chest and deltoids appearing that I've never had before.

Quality of Training: HIIT was not like last week. Whilst my sprints re time covered about the same distance each time, I could feel myself faltering on the last two efforts, and between them my heart was pounding so fast it felt like it was going to burst right through my chest! . . . Resistance training was good. Gritting my teeth and pushing through any wrist pain . . . Post-Weights Cardio was an effort for the last few minutes with my wrist pain, and right foot also felt weird . . .

Recovery: Excellent!

Appetite: Being out of control is NOT an option!

Body Composition and Look: Even after only 1-2 days of being back on Erase and Shred Matrix I can already feel and see the difference!

Other Effects: Definitely sensitive to Beta-Alanine when not using Rhodiola Rosea, feeling the tingles ~10 minutes after dosing Assault, lasting until I start training . . . Also, have almost a month off stimulants seems to have made me slightly sensitive to starting back on them again (re Shred Matrix stacked with Alpha-T2), which is very interesting - and GOOD (I don't consider either Alpha-T2 or Shred Matrix to be strong stimulants, but if being sensitive to them makes them more effective, then I don't mind) . . .


FIT TIP OF THE DAY

You cannot follow a generic exercise plan and hope that it gets results. Whilst there are general principles that everyone should follow re training, the BEST way to get results is to have a training programme designed specifically for YOU, individualized based on not just your goals (i.e. fat loss, fitness, muscle gain, recomp, etc.), but your NEEDS (i.e. flexibility, injuries, muscle imbalances, weaknesses, etc.) as well.

Day 362: Blood and Bruises

Quote of the Day

"Don't wait for the perfect moment...Take the moment and make it perfect." - Peter Haenga

Training

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 106-112 rpm

Stretch 20 min.

Full-Body (30 sec recovery between supersets):
Superset A -
1. Alternate Backward DB Lunges 6 x 12 per leg
2. Step-Ups (onto 2-foot bench) 6 x 12 per side
Superset B -
3. Push-Ups (feet and hands on floor) 6 x 12
4.V-Bar Close-Grip Seated Rows 6 x 12
Superset C -
5. Seated DB Shoulder Press 6 x 12
6. DB Lateral Raises 6 x 12
Superset D -
7. V-Bar Tricep Push-Downs 6 x 12
8.Alternate DB Bicep Curls 6 x 12 per side
Superset E -
9. V-Sits (on bench) 2 x 12
10. Bicycle 2 x 12 per side
Superset F -
11. V-Sits (on bench) 4 x 12
12. Plank (on bench) 4 x 60 sec, 50 sec, 40 sec, 30 sec

Post-Weights Cardio - Treadmill:
6 x 90 sec effort/30 sec rest @ 12.8 km/hr

Comments

Mood/Aggression: Frustrated with lack of energy and the way I feel during training.

Energy: EXHAUSTED. Completing training was just sheer willpower.

Stress: Back to being in the RED red.

Endurance: Awesome - considering.

Pump: So strong that I had to stop a few times during training and pump my arms and legs so that I could actually perform the exercises ok. Pump definitely very painful.

Vascularity: High.

Quality of Training: Rollers were fine . . . Resistance training was long and felt it. I nearly collapsed multiple times during Superset A, and had to steady myself and take it slower to ensure that I didn't. Again, I made the recovery short, and it was probably actually TOO short, honestly, and I should have done ALTERNATE sets, or had a minute between supersets, because I was NOT recovering. Everything was done slowly after that. Surprisingly, my face was flushed and not ghostly white, which it usually is when I do Legs' exercises . . . Despite being completely fcuked after weights, I forced myself to do some more cardio. A little slower, because my legs felt like they were going to fall out from under me, and stopped early, because I was close to throwing up . . . It was definitely a VERY slow walk back from the gym . . .

Recovery: My entire body is sore. And not just from training - there'll be some not-so-pretty bruises appearing over the next few days. My legs hurt, and walking, especially up and down stairs, is torture. My back aches. My deltoids are in pain. My arms don't even want to move. I feel like absolute sh*t, and that's putting it mildly.

Other Notes: Used my first dose of PES' beta stimulant today - notes can be found at PES Beta Stim!: Rosie's Initial Impressions.

Note that I must have miscounted a day somewhere - hence the jump from day 360 to day 362 (it IS day 362 of 2010).

Day 356: Funny how the body works

Quote of the Day

"Don't repeat history, Make new history." - Walt Ostarly

Training

HIIT Cardio:
a. 5 min easy
b. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy
c. 4 x 60 sec effort/30 sec easy
d. 5 min easy

Stretch 21 min.

Comments

Sleep - Time and Quality: I need to get back on track! Make a new schedule and stick to it!

Energy: Still none.

Stress: Ok, so sometimes we have to learn when to stop pushing and step back - this is one of those weeks. It's going to INcrease my stress in the short-term, but also DEcrease it at the same time, and hopefully let me give my head a break before going back into full stress mode.

Quality of Training: HIIT was ok. I did what I could and that was that.

Recovery: I'm still fatigued - definitely more from the lack of stimulants and going into withdrawal than anything else.

Body Composition and Look: Up to 120.2 pounds. I can definitely FEEL the extra weight, and I KNOW that I am holding water. The last few days I have drunk only 2-3 litres of water, because every time I drink it, I feel like being sick (not sure what's up with that) - when I drink less than 4.5 litres of water a day, my body tends to retain water, regardless of what supplements I am using (the loss of Shred Matrix also makes a difference here, which could be a contributing factor to the water retention since it acts as a diuretic), and to my eyes I look soft as well as feel it, neither of which I am particularly comfortable being.

Other Notes: It's been 30 weeks (this is the 31st) since I started back training and I actually haven't had a complete week off at all. I DON'T want a COMPLETE week off, and right after my competition (12 weeks ago) I had a week with only two resistance sessions, ending up having to do another week of only two resistance sessions and less training volume a couple of weeks after that (10 weeks ago), too. Ironically, the week my body decided that it wasn't going to work for me and I only managed ONE resistance session (five weeks ago), with two days of training in total, was the week that if I HAD continued with competition in 2010, I would have been at the Worlds that Saturday. So, technically, I have had three EASY weeks in the last 30.5 weeks (you could almost call one of them a 'week off', which makes me well and truly due for a week of nothing, despite my head NOT ever wanting another week of nothing ever again. I've done three cardio sessions this week, and a short resistance session, so technically it's a week off. Because of the way my body is feeling, I am going to fight my head and go with my instincts and just let it happen - I know, not very like me, but nothing has really been like me over the last 12 weeks if I'm to be completely honest. But, if it will allow me to pull myself together, get my thoughts centered, and prepare my body for a warrior's training over the coming months, then it is worth the small sacrifice to my sanity.

Day 355: Stim-Dependency

Quote of the Day

"One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." - Unknown

Training

None. Against myself, my body made this this week's day OFF . . . GRRR . . .

Comments

Sleep - Time and Quality: Still not falling asleep until ~0600, but sleeping longer and longer, waking just after 1400 today! NOT cool, and explainable, when thought about.

Energy: I've had nothing for anything but doing what I have to. The problem is that I've been withOUT any real stimulants for quite some time now, and it's definitely affecting EVERYthing - as I have said before, I'm NOT (well, barely, at any rate) functional withOUT a LOT of stimulants (and yes, I know it is something that I have to kick OUT of - FAST)!

Stress: Higher than ever.

Recovery: Fatigued and no good for anything.

Day 276: Day 2 of Triazole

Training

Because I HAVE been training for 19 weeks without a break or a week off, I am going to make this week an EASY week. I say "easy" because I do NOT want to have a complete week off for a LONG time; my body does best when I am training intensely, at least 5-6 days a week. Therefore, I AM going to do a couple of resistance training sessions this week, both Full-Body, but a lot shorter in duration than what I have been doing. Cardio will be done today until Saturday inclusive.

NEXT week will start me back on schedule re training, and also be my first "week-pre-competition" week.

Cardio - Stepper:
20 min @ 10 floors/min

Full-Body (30 sec recovery between sets):
1. Hanging Straight-Leg Raises 1 x 20
2. Reverse Curls (on bench) 1 x 20
3. Alternate DB Bicep Curls 1 x 20 per side
4. Dips 1 x 20
5. BB Military Press 1 x 20
6. Supinated BB Bent Over Rows 1 x 20
7. Flat BB Bench Press 1 x 20
8. Single-Leg Deadlifts (with lateral twist and reach) 1 x 20 per leg

Stretch 20 min.

Comments

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~5 hours. Broken.

Mood/Aggression: Upset with myself for not training and constantly eating for the last two days, even though I know I'll be fine once I'm training again.

Energy: I have it.

Mental Focus and Clarity: There. Now that competition is over, it's time to focus my attention more on study.

Stress: High.

Immune System: No sniffles in the gym today.

Libido: High.

Joints: Left hip was a bit tight on the Stepper, but nothing major.

Endurance: Good.

Strength: Just getting back into it.

Pump: From the start, hard and fast, and enjoyed it.

Vascularity: Through deltoids and arms.

Quality of Training: It was quite pleasant to be in and out of the gym in an HOUR! Felt like I did NOTHING! Knowing that my body needs an easy time this week, though - I do NOT want it to crash on me again and have a recurrent bout of Chronic Fatigue (I AM going to have to see what I can do about taking some time off stimulants though, sometime soon, to prevent any Adrenal Fatigue return as well).

Recovery: I feel fine.

Body Composition and Look: I have gained 13-15 pounds over the last two days, and I can feel every pound! I am uncomfortable and disappointed in myself for letting it happen, but I know that it's predominantly food and water weight, back to my usual body mass by the end of next week at the latest.

Other Effects: Nothing from the products I am using now, but the tan has left my skin itchy - I am so relieved NOT to have to do that anymore!

Day 211: Where can I find sleep?

Training

HIIT Cardio:
a. 5 min easy
b. 10 x 50 sec effort/10 sec easy
c. 5 min easy

Stretch 25 min.

Comments

Sleep - Time and Quality: What's that? SERIOUSLY, I NEED SOME!!!

Mood/Aggression: Up and down. Flat. Volatile. Calm. Aggressive. It barely takes a moment to change.

Energy: I should have it, and yesterday I had so many stims that it wasn't fcuking funny and yet still almost didn't make it through . . .

Mental Focus and Clarity: Got to bring my A-game.

Stress: I don't even want to think about this right now . . .

Endurance: Ok.

Quality of Training: Fine. I cannot wait until next week, when I will be going back up to Maintenance levels. My body needs some serious thrashing . . .

Day 194: I've had NO stims for two days!

Training

Day 193

Gym (30 sec recovery between sets):
1. Underhand-Grip BB Bent Over Rows 5 x 4-5RM
2. Overhead BB Squats 4 x 5RM
3. Weighted Dips 4 x 5RM
4. BB Ab Rollout 4 x 5

Post-Weights Cardio 20 min.

Stretch 20 min.

Day 194

HIIT Cardio:
a. 5 min easy
b. 30 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy
c. 5 min easy

Gym (45 sec recovery between sets):
1. Wide-Grip Lat Pull-Downs 5 x 8RM
2. Incline DB Bench Press 5 x 8-9RM
3. BB Romanian Deadlift (plates to floor) 5 x 8RM
4. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls 5 x 8RM
5. Hanging Straight-Leg Raises 5 x 8

Post-Weights Cardio 20 min.

Stretch 21 min.

Comments

Sleep - Time and Quality: The last two days, I have gotten ~8 hours sleep for both of them.

Energy: I have been waking starting and feeling and continuing on like I am in a permanent "crash".

Other Notes: The last two days I have NOT used any stimulants, just for a brief reprieve, and will be starting back again with BLACK CATS, T-911, and ASGT tomorrow. Also a note to add that from tomorrow, I will be dosing BLACK CATS at 3 caps first thing, and Drive at 3 caps per dose.

Day 188

Training

HIIT Cardio:

a. 4 min jogging

b. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy

c. 4 min jogging

d. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy

e. 4 min jogging

Gym (45 sec recovery between sets):

1. Wide-Grip Lat Pull-Downs 5 x 9RM

2. Incline DB Bench Press 5 x 8RM

3. BB Romanian Deadlift (plates to floor) 5 x 8RM

4. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls 5 x 8RM

Hanging Straight-Leg Raises 5 x 8

Post-Weights Cardio 20 min.

Stretch 27 min.

Comments

Sleep - Time and Quality: I got ~3 hours sleep this morning, which helps.

Mood/Aggression: Still VERY aggressive - and frustrated. Taking it all out during training.

Energy: I have so many stims in me that if I didn't have energy there'd be something seriously wrong! But yeah, I am full of bounce!

Stimulant Effects: Not as much as yesterday - dosed T-911 further from BLACK CATS as well.

Mental Focus and Clarity: Strong and focused and ready to get down to a long day's work.

Stress: High.

Libido: Frustrating to say the least, to be thinking like a guy!

Endurance: Better and better.

Strength: Some improvements from last week today.

Pump: Hard and heavy, especially in arms.

Vascularity: Good.

Quality of Training: HIIT was ok; a small issue with left lower leg pain, but pushed through for some very satisfying sprints . . . Took all my aggression out on the weights today (I just wanted to scream and throw them!) . . . And then did an intense 20 minutes of cardio to use some of the restless energy seething in me . . .

Recovery: I feel great (having got that 3 hours of sleep makes a difference).

Body Composition and Look: Midsection is starting to get flatter and looks leaner than it has of late.

Sides: Aside from my natural aggression being charged and my libido skyrocketing, nothing unpleasant has been experienced.

Other Effects: I'm finding myself constantly thirsty and need to make sure I get in enough water.

Other Notes: I am going to have to be very careful from now on re sugar intake and timing and manipulation of my carbohydrates. I've abused nutrient repartitioners and insulin mimetics and my body via my diet over the last few months, and I have definitely become very sensitive to insulin release . . . On another note, I'm going to start dosing T-911 twice daily - make the most of it as a Testosterone booster . . .

Day 145: Smackdown on Shoulders

Training

am

HIIT Cardio:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy
c. 4 min jogging

Shoulders (30 sec recovery between alternate sets):
Alternate Set A -
1. Seated BB Military Press 4 x 8
2. DB Lateral Raises 4 x 12
Alternate Set B -
3. Standing Behind-the-neck BB Military Press 4 x 8
4. Incline DB Rear Raises 4 x 12
Alternate Set C -
5. Seated DB Shoulder Press 4 x 8
6. DB Shrugs 4 x 8
Alternate Set D -
7. Standing BB Military Press 4 x 6
8. Plank x 1 min

Post-Weights Cardio 20 min.

Stretch 20 min.

Daily Comments

Mood: The extreme heat, stress, work, and circumstances are making for a very trying combination, but I am managing to find a smile.

Energy: Surprisingly, despite the heat, I was rather energetic during training. Anadraulic State GT stacked with T-911 makes for a good kick of energy.

Stimulant Effects: I don't get any stimulant effects from the Anadraulic State GT - well, none that I notice. With the T-911, it's a different story - no jitters or anything, but thermogenesis is definitely taken up another gear, causing me to sweat far more than usual.

Focus: Strong.

Endurance: Could be better re cardio, but is fine during resistance training - I have halved my usual recovery time from 1 minute to 30 seconds and not suffering for it.

Strength: Not much strength has been lost in my shoulders. I HAVE noticed, however, that my left wrist is getting weak again, causing a few issues throughout resistance training, as well as constantly aching.

Pump and Vascularity: Pump is easy enough to get. Vascularity is starting to be good, and the hotter I get, the better it gets (now, just to get leaner and blue lines will be popping all over my skin).

Quality of Training: HIIT Run could definitely have gone better - I feel so heavy and clumsy when I run these days (got to lose that extra weight, girl!) . . . Resistance session was fine . . . Finished it all off in a sweaty mess with some post-weights cardio . . .

Stress: I have no word to describe how HIGH this is right now . . .

Libido: Some.

Body Composition and Look: PATIENCE . . .

Sides: Aside from the excessive sweating whilst training, none.

Day 124: Stretch out those hamstrings

12 hours of sleep - and for the first time, I went to bed semi-early as well. Woke ok; a bit shattered from training yesterday, as to be expected when my body is no longer used to being pushed (and it's going to HAVE to get used to it, because from now on, there's NO give). Readying myself for training . . .



pm



Cardio 20 min.



Abs/Hamstrings (1 min recovery between supersets):

Superset A -

1. Hanging Straight-Leg Curls/Raises 4 x 10

2. Weighted Crunch (on bench) 4 x 10

Superset B -

3. BB Romanian Deadlifts (on box - BB/plates touch ground) 4 x 6

4. Stiff-Legged BB Deadlifts (BB touch ground) 4 x 10

Superset C -

5. Lying Leg Curls 4 x 10

6. Weighted Rope Crunch 4 x 10



Post-Weights Cardio 20 min.



Stretch 20 min.



In a fairly good mood today - trying the positive approach. Although my body did not feel like training, I made sure that I worked it hard. A little different than what I was doing before I got adrenal fatigue, and certainly having to adapt, since I'm not using stimulants to 'wake me up' and help re energy to get through everything.



The weather, although spring here in the United States, is already as hot as a New Zealand summer, and, not being a huge fan of the heat and humidity, I am not looking forward to it getting hotter (I don't mind dry heat, but not when it's muggy). Pleasant enough, though, and later, when it's cooler, I'm going to mow the lawns (love the smell of freshly cut grass - a definite summer scent).



So, working on being positive about how my body and mind are feeling about my inability to train like I am accustomed to, and see the light through the clouds . . .