2012 | Day 124: I'll make a soldier's decision to fly away

MOTIVATIONAL OF THE DAY

Be Good To Yourself

Sometimes we spend so much time looking after and out for others that we forget to take care of OURSELVES. We work ourselves into the ground trying to do everything for everyone else, being strong for everyone else, making life work for everyone else, that we neglect to take care of ourselves. We allow our energy to be drained in our service to others, our strength to be used to nurture others, our minds to be consumed by thoughts of how to make things better for everyone else, but ourselves. And when that happens, you have NOTHING left for yourself. You drain yourself dry. You don’t nourish yourself, or replace what is being used, giving back to yourself so that you do not lose of yourself.

It’s fine to give, but it’s NOT fine to give and give and give until that’s all you’re doing, not taking care of yourself, not looking out for YOUR best interests, not accepting help from others because you have to be the one doing everything, until eventually you find yourself collapsing, shattered and broken, with nothing left to help yourself, empty and alone.

You have to be GOOD to YOURSELF. You have to nourish and feed yourself – whether it be taking time out every day just for YOU and no one else, meditating, filling yourself with the Spirit and refreshing your soul, speaking positive words of encouragement and empowerment over yourself and your life. You have to relax and recuperate – whether it is having a day off doing everything for everyone and focusing solely on you, so that your body and your mind stays strong and doesn’t run out of energy or spirit. You have to learn to be selfish and say “no” sometimes, because you cannot do and be everything to everyone all of the time, and you need to learn what you CAN do, what you cannot, and accept that, instead of piling all the world’s burdens on your own shoulders.

You have to be GOOD to YOURSELF. When you are good to yourself, then you can be good to OTHERS. You are better equipped to deal with others and their demands, and you will not bleed yourself dry in trying to manage those demands.

You have to be GOOD to YOURSELF to be of any use to ANYONE ELSE! So, if you are not and know you must be, start today! BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!

Quote for Reflection:

TRAINING

Rollers 20 min in 39x18 @ 110-112 rpm

Stretch 20 min

Since it's an "easy" week this week, with only three scheduled resistance sessions every other day, and because I do not want to have more than two days off all training, today was a single cardio session. A light 20 minutes on the rollers mid-afternoon helped clear my head a little. Got quite warm very quickly, feeling the pump in my legs afterwards. Still feeling uncomfortable in my own body, but knowing that it's not going to last for much longer, really looking forward to getting back into my heavy training schedule next week (having planned out the next three weeks this morning)...Trying to let my mind relax and stop stressing about everything, heeding my own words, reminding myself that I need to take care of ME before everyone else, "allowing" myself that time to regather and recoup my determination and drive, the iron steel will that has kept me going thus far...

2012 | Day 123: Al's [Fallen Silver] Angel

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it." - Marcus Aurelius

For the complete Motivational, review Our Thoughts | Rosie's MuscleRevolution.
 

TRAINING

Tuesday

Day OFF

Wednesday

HIIT Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 12 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 12 min jogging

Stretch 12 min

Arms/Abs (1 min recovery between supersets):
SuperSet A -
1. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls 4 x 12, 10, 8, 8
2. Incline Dips 4 x 8
SuperSet B -
3. Incline Bicep Curls 4 x 12, 10, 10, 10
4. DB French Press 4 x 8
SuperSet C -
5. Alternate Hammer Bicep Curls 4 x 15 per side
6. Hammer Curls 4 x 8
SuperSet D -
7. Crunches (on floor, hips at 90 degree angle, legs straight, to touch toes) 4 x 25
8. Plank 4 x 1 min

Post-Weights Cardio:
Rollers 20 min in 39x18 @ 110-120 rpm

Stretch 12 min

Slept a little longer than usual - allowing myself to, waking and going back to bed, since it IS a "deload" week (and also not had a week "off" in a long time, and my "easy"/"deload" weeks ARE my weeks "off"). Not feeling the best, still holding an extra 11 pounds than usual, which makes a HUGE difference in how I look AND feel...HIIT Run felt slow, but surprisingly knees were ok until towards the end, where right one started getting tight. Left rear delt had an ache/pull in it during the entire run...Resistance training I wasn't looking forward to, which doesn't happen very often to me. Started out and was surprised that I was able to go as high with reps on my first set of Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls. Since I have no Dips' bars in the basement, I did Incline Dips instead, going low, feeling every one. It's been a LONG time since I had a minute's recovery [on any session other than Shoulders/Hamstrings], but I did today, no matter how weird it felt - my body REALLY needs the SHORTER recovery periods for best function, but given the way I was feeling, it was ok. Left wrist started aching badly during Incline Bicep Curls, and pump in arms was MASSIVE by the time I was done with my first set of the DB French Press. Left wrist continued to ache and pump continued to get "more", becoming very painful, but SuperSet C was managed, recovery a relief. Finished off the session with a different kind of crunch, feeling the stretch in my hamstrings during it, my core feeling highly UNcomfortable...Even though I didn't feel like it, I did 20 minutes on my rollers, cadence rather varied at times. I got off my bike with legs that felt so heavy - I definitely HATE this feeling, and the sooner I can rid my body of all this excess water weight (especially since it has bloated me from my waist to knees, causing even SITTING to be uncomfortable) the better...NOT very happy with myself right now...

2012 | Day 121: I'd trade my soul for a wish...I wasn't looking for this...

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It's not about how much you can get out of life, but about how much you can GIVE TO it!" - Rosie Chee

For the complete Motivational, review What You GIVE TO Life | Rosie's MuscleRevolution.

TRAINING

HIIT Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 28 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 2 x 50 sec sprint/10 sec easy
d. 4 min jogging

Shoulders/Hamstrings (1 min recovery between sets):
1. Behind-the-neck BB Military Press 6 x 15, 12, 10, 8, 8, 8
2. BB Military Press 6 x 8
3. Single-Arm Plate Lateral Raises 6 x 12, 12, 12, 10, 10, 8 per arm
4. Stiff-Legged BB Deadlifts (BB to touch ground) 6 x 10

Post-Weights Cardio:
Rollers 20 min in 39x18 @ 118-120 rpm

Stretch 20 min

Yesterday was BAD: Day OFF training, only just over half a galleon of water drunk, and close to 1,000 grams of carbohydrates consumed (yes, I completely let go yesterday - although half of that was from clean sources)! No wonder I woke feeling like crap today, my face looking like a puffer fish, highly uncomfortable with the additional 10-pound weight gain (although, yes, I know, food and water weight - doesn't make me feel any different though). Anyways...Took me a little bit to get myself together for training. Headed out for my run, surprised that my knees weren't hurting from all the extra weight, but not surprised that I felt more energetic than I did last week. Did more sprints than usual, with two longer ones at the end...Took my Assault on returning, getting myself ready for the weights. Downstairs to the basement. It was a sudden decision to make this week a "deload" week after I had finished my first set of Behind-the-neck BB Military Presses, but I made it - given that it's been ~3 weeks since my last deload, and I have four weeks until my next photoshoot/s, it's the perfect time to have one this week. No skipping after shoulders' exercises today, single sets only. Slight twinges in right delt from the second set of Behind-the-neck BB Military Presses. Left wrist aching a little during BB Military Presses, but nothing unmanageable. Left delt/bi tendon in agony from the third set of Single-Arm Plate Lateral Raises - hence the lower reps from that set on. Huge pump in delts and arms though. Fine during Stiff-Legged BB Deadlifts...Enjoyed being able to sit on my rollers, even though legs felt heavy and thick (not just feeling either - look it too - from all the water retention after yesterday). Spinning and the hurt in my quads did not start until almost a third of the way in, but pushing through it...Glad to be able to stretch...I was SO thirsty this morning that I guzzled almost a galleon of water during resistance training and post-weights cardio alone...

OTHER NOTES

Supplements

Started using Erase Pro again today (didn't use it last week). Started back on Assault again as well (none used last week). First official day of Abliderate Advanced too.

2012 | Day 98: All my hope has been restored

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

TRAINING

HIIT Elliptical:
a. 4 min easy
b. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy
c. 4 min easy

Stretch 20 min

Fell asleep a little earlier this morning, ~0230, waking to all three alarms set for 0330, 0430, and 0630, eventually getting up at 0819, so 5-6 hours of broken sleep...Did a few things before heading downstairs to the Elliptical to do the last of this week's HIIT sessions (giving my body - moreso my knees - another day of "recovery" from running; I haven't NOT run this much in a long time and it feels odd). Quads were burning and on the fourth effort, I felt myself falter a little, pushing the pace for the last four efforts...Sat in the sauna for half an hour after my brief HIIT session...Then out to the pool, holding myself under the water for close to 2.5 minutes this time. Is it strange that the ONLY time I have felt CALM and truly at peace over the last week is when I am underwater, FORCING myself to stay there, my lungs and heart burning, WANTING to stay there?...Then into the spa, for the massage on my legs from the jets...Finishing off with stretching after a quick shower back in my room (since I was shivering when I got out of the spa)...NO resistance session today, since yesterday had my left wrist pretty bad re pain and I want to give it some time to "recover" - as well as my shoulders, which have been aching again all night and morning. No Full-Body session this week, since it IS my LAST "deload" week for a couple of months, so going to take what little rest I CAN...Feeling utterly drained - if only my MIND would STOP (not that I don't mind some of what's playing in there, but I DO need to REST)...

2012 | Day 96: You need the pain now just to feel anything...

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"What I know today… anything can happen, dreams come true, and miracles occur daily. Belief is power beyond measure. Second Chance, make yours count!" - Ben Booker

For the complete Motivational, review Second Chance | WPM Women.

TRAINING

Skip x 600 revolutions

Arms/Abs (30 sec recovery between trisets):
TriSet A -
1. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls 4 x 8
2. Dips 4 x 8
3. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
TriSet B -
4. Incline Alternate DB Bicep Curls 4 x 10 per side
5. V-Bar Tricep Push-Down 4 x 6
6. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
TriSet C -
7. DB Zottoman Curls 4 x 8
8. Standing DB French Press 4 x 8, 8, 6, 6
9. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions
TriSet D -
10. Weighted DB Crunch (on bench, knees at 90 degrees) 4 x 15
11. Pikes (on bench) 4 x 15
12. Skip 4 x 100 revolutions

Post-Weights Cardio:
Recline Bike 20 min @ 110-112 rpm

Stretch 10 min

Skip x 1,000 revolutions

Stretch 10 min

Got exhausted mid-evening last night and passed out for ~2 hours. Meant once I woke up I was AWAKE, so another night/morning of staying up. Ended up passing out just after ~0130 for a couple of hours though, before I had to get up for training (yay - back to regular training times!). Headed off to the gym...Started out skipping, less volume than with this session last week, because for some reason the rope caught three times during the first 100 revolutions, pissing me off as I snarled at myself...Then into the weights. I actually realized half-way to the gym that I had forgotten to restrap my left wrist (took it off last night, because it was starting to get tight - I need it tight to help dull the pain) and prepared myself for PAIN. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls were definitely painful on my left wrist, and the last two reps of every set were VERY slow (which only ADDED to the agony), and my expression was one of utter pissed-off aggression as I battled through - although there was a glint of satisfaction seeing the definition and vascularity in my arms. Dips were done slowly and low, feeling the ache during them, but not as bad. Skipping was done rapidly, an angry expression on my face, determined NOT to have the rope catch again (and it didn't). Knees were ok during skipping too, which was a plus - I would NOT have been the best person to deal with if they HAD been playing up. Onto Incline Alternate DB Hammer Bicep Curls - used the same weight as last week, but managed an additional two reps each set, albeit closing my eyes and concentrating only on the movement on the last two sets for the last few reps, gritting my teeth to stop from screaming. V-Bar Tricep Push-Downs - not as many reps as last week, which was fine, since I increased the weight by 10 pounds. More "mean" skipping to end each TriSet B. Stayed with the same weight as I used last week re the DB Zottoman Curls and found myself struggling, the pain in my left wrist searing through it, and I almost wanted to DROP the weight after six reps each set. DB French Press caused a pain through my right anterior delt/biceps tendon, so a little less on the reps here today, which was ok. Swearing under my breath, skipping was done, sweat dripping off me. Weighted Crunches were fine. Felt my left hip "pop" on every rep re Pikes - except, surprisingly, on the last set, where it didn't even happen at all (welcome, but odd)! Finished off with my 100 revolutions of skipping...Hot and sweaty, I moved to the Recline Bike for post-weights cardio, surprised but ok with my legs being able to spin. Neither pain in either knee or in chest throughout it, nor any difficulty breathing...Not quite finished yet. Since I didn't do at least 1,500 revolutions re skipping PRE-weights I decided to "make-up" for it, so after 10 minutes of stretching out my legs, I completed 1,000 more revolutions. From about the 800-revolution mark, my knees were BOTH starting to hurt, biting pain on the anteriomedial aspect of my knees, and every revolution was jarring, my teeth gritted, moving more like a boxer than simply skipping, to try and "ease" it somewhat, because I sure as hell was NOT going to stop until I'd done my 1,000 revolutions!...Needed more stretching out afterwards...Back to the hotel and straight into the sauna for half an hour, my feet up, just sitting there to try and ignore the pain. From the sauna to the pool - which was COLD - for more punishment, like yesterday forcing myself to stay under the water for ~2 minutes, my inability to hold my breath that long so very apparent, gasping and sputtering when I allowed myself to surface. Then into the spa for a while to gently "massage" my legs, although no relief was given to my knees...Knees have been in pain all day, even just lying or sitting with them outstretched in front of me, which has not been fun. Since this IS my "deload" week, I decided to let my knees "recover" and NOT do the HIIT Run I had PLANNED on doing tonight, hoping that they will be fine for this tomorrow (they'd better be, because it's going to get done pre-weights, whether they are or not!)...

OTHER NOTES

I realized something today in the gym, during my third set of skipping re TriSet A: I LOVED IT! Even though I was in pain, aggressive and looking as mean as hell, swearing at myself in frustration, sweat glistening on my face and dripping down my back, hurting - I LOVED THE FEELING! Oh how much I have MISSED being in the gym, away from the weights and intensity the last two days, and the thought hit me that even though it hurt like hell, and no matter how aggressive or pissed off I might get doing it, I was truly HAPPY doing it! That training IS one of the very FEW things in life that DOES make me HAPPY! Thank God for small miracles!

As I was drinking my green tea earlier this morning, for some random reason I started flicking through some of the first logs I ever kept on Anabolic Minds, thinking as I did how funny it was how things have changed, how so MUCH has changed. Never in a million years would I have ever imagined when I first agreed to try and log several products for Applied Nutriceuticals that I would be where I am NOW, doing what I am NOW. If you'd shown me what I am NOW to me back then I would have looked at you like you'd LOST your mind, and yet now I can't imagine being anything ELSE! I see glimpses of what I was then, and whilst I still am very much the same, I am also a very DIFFERENT person, changed by the years and circumstances that I could never have foreseen...I started thinking about the people I've met here, some of whom have become very dear to me, almost like family and whom I couldn't imagine life withOUT. I started thinking about the incredible support from those here, something that has been a FIRST in my life (along with many other things). I have lived, loved, and laughed with those here and will CONTINUE to do so, wherever my journey takes me. So, thank you, Anabolic Minds, for all you've given me so far - here's to many more memorable times that I will look back on fondly...

2012 | Day 94: Do you know what it’s like when you’re scared to see yourself?

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY

"When we are born, we are all given one thing that we can count on: a life to live. Each of us has a life. For some it is shorter, for others it is longer. For some, it comes with challenges whether physical, mental, emotional, or circumstantial. For others, there are few challenges.

"But regardless of the hand we are dealt, we must play it out. We can play, we can fold, or we can hold the cards and do nothing. But in each instance, we make a decision. Even when we decide to do nothing, we have made a decision.

"And where you are now in life is the sum total of all the decisions you have made in your life.

"The good news is that if you don't like where you are now, YOU CAN CHANGE it! You don't have control over the past, but YOU HAVE CONTROL over today and tomorrow!" - Lee Labrada

TRAINING

Elliptical 30 min

Stretch 21 min

Almost instantly asleep after posting yesterday's update. However, it was not to last and I woke up just ~1.5 hours later. And for some reason, STARVING, which led to me wolfing down almost everything I could find, ~1,000 calories in chocolate, ~1,000 calories in multigrain crackers, ~1,000 calories in almonds, and then close to another ~1,000 calories in cottage cheese and bacon bits (with the crackers), which was interesting to say the least, and yes, regretted afterwards. Anyways, wide awake again, I didn't start feeling my eyes "tire" until ~0330, when I fell asleep for ~4 hours. Which is ok (see "Other Notes" below re training changes)...After time to "gather" myself, I went downstairs to the Fitness Room and did the Elliptical for 30 minutes (yes, 10 minutes more than I usually would - someone had set it at for that and I couldn't be bothered changing it), where my knees were mostly fine (sharp pain on the inferiomedial aspect of my right one for the first half) and only a slight twinge in my left arch during the first few minutes. My left wrist was in a lot of pain though - I've actually had it strapped up since last night it has been that bad, and going to keep it strapped for a few days to let it "settle". Afterwards, sat in the sauna, actually enjoying the feeling of sweat dripping on my skin - very relaxing. Back to my room to stretch...A 7-mile Run WAS on the agenda for this evening, but I suddenly got very exhausted and passed out for several hours, waking to the thunderstorm (love waking to the sound of it, by the way, and for some reason makes me think of being back at the beach house, watching the waves crash on the shore as the rain pounds the windows) outside, and just letting it go - after all, it SHOULD be a "easier" week this week, and the "deload" may actually HELP re progress...

OTHER NOTES

Changes This Week

This is my thirteenth week back training since my time out for all the injuries that assaulted me at the end of 2011. It's been a slow recovery process, only really being able to up my training over the last five weeks, but it's been well worth it. My last "easy"/deload week was six weeks ago, and because I need my body to KEEP going for at LEAST another SEVEN weeks before I will allow myself to have a week of only 3-4 days of training (i.e. a week "OFF" - anything LESS than 1-2 resistance sessions and 2-3 cardio sessions and my body is not very functional, so that is what my weeks "OFF" will consist of henceforth, if they are given), THIS week I am changing things up a little re training days, albeit keeping the volume the same, as well as intensity, just "spreading it over" the week instead of "clumping" it, so that my body gets a little bit of a "WTF?!" and CONTINUES to make progress, since this week is ESSENTIAL - I NEED to lose at LEAST 0.5% bodyfat this week! Also adding in more "recovery" measures re sauna and the hot/cold-spa/pool at least 5-6 days this week (continuation to be determined at the end of the week).

Also going to use this week to REALLY get a handle on my nutrition, since the last two weeks were so completely UNdisciplined and far OUTSIDE of even MY "normal", that even with my training hard and intense, I fell backwards faster than I could blink (highly disappointed and disgusted with myself!), and that is NOT acceptable! I know what my body is "comfortable" at, and if I am going to be "unconditioned", it canNOT go above that, which is currently is, and I will endeavour to ensure it is not so again. To be perfectly frank, the way my nutrition was five weeks ago was the period when my body felt the BEST, and I definitely know that the Lean Gains 16-hour fast/8-hour feeding window suits my body the best as far as nutritional protocols. So, reiterating this fact more to myself than anything, mentally "setting" myself for what MUST be.

Day 35: Deloading for the rest of the week

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"If you think you are beaten, you are. If you think, you dare not, you don't. If you like to win but but think you can't, it's almost certain you won't. If you think you'll lose, you've lost. For out in the world we find success begins with a person's will. It's all in the state of mind. Life's battles don't always go to the strongest or the fastest sooner or later those who win are those who think they can." - Jacob William Cordtz


MUSIC VIDEO OF THE DAY

Five Finger Death Punch - Meet the Monster


TRAINING

Cardio - Rollers:
20 min in 39x18 @ 104 rpm

Stretch 20 min.


COMMENTS

Sleep - Time and Quality: ~5 hours.

Mood/Aggression: Quite a lot pissed off, actually - working on calming myself down.

Energy: I have energy - a lot of angry, aggressive energy. I am going to get out and shovel some more later - try and get rid of some of it.

Stress: I am relieved, but not at the same time.

Joints: Wrists and back are still giving me some issues, so decided to have an easy/deload week re training, sticking to only the two resistance training sessions I have already done, and doing six days re cardio, and hopefully Erase will be working its magic by Monday, and I can get back into the weights better than ever.

Endurance: Fine.

Quality of Training: See notes under "Joints" above.

Other Notes: Received more Organic VitaBerry yesterday, so started up again today. And I have only another eight days of Gut Health left - I do believe that this is making a difference to me, since I have not had any stomach upset after eating since using it.

Competition Notes: 10 weeks until competition.


FIT TIP OF THE DAY

BELIEVE in yourself: In your ambition, in your ability to achieve your objectives and goals, in being able to stay strong and letting mistakes go without going off the rails, in your determination and motivation, in commitment to doing this for YOU!