April 3, 2016



I am not the person I was a year ago, nor several months ago, even a week ago or a day ago. Like life and time I am constantly evolving, changing as my soul experiences everything in an hourglass of passion and depression, hope and despair, love and loathing, progress and stagnation. Everything that I see, hear, taste, smell, and do has an impact no matter how small or big, whether I realize it or not, and affects how I ultimately perceive the world, myself, and my position in it.

Constant evolution suggests constant PROGRESS, BECOMING BETTER, leaving behind the shell of who I was, accepting and embracing and stepping into the new, the unknown future and all it holds for me. There is no fear of what is to come, for I have something far greater alongside all the weapons I need to take stance against anything and all who might come against me, knowing that He will ALWAYS have my back, that everything I go through has PURPOSE.

Is there pain? Yes. Is there sorrow? Yes. Is there darkness? Yes. But there is also joy and happiness and light, and it is THOSE things that my soul holds on for, the glimpse of them that hope has afforded me, the woman that I will be at the end of it all, who I am becoming for the one I am being created FOR. There can be no triumph without struggle, no strength without experiencing weakness, no life without the exchange of death, and I have struggled in and with my weakness, dying to be reborn into the life I was MEANT to live.

I am a different creature than I once was. I am changed in ways I never thought I would be. I see things I never thought I would see. I hold dreams I never thought I would ever care for. I have allowed the hard shell of the rock island that I was to be penetrated, a crumbling of the wall that once kept the world at bay and me safe inside, eroding as slowly I step into the light, trembling as I share my soul with the world I stayed aloof from for a lifetime, a shy emergence of a rare softness and vulnerability peeking out from the “machine”.

I am becoming something more than I ever imagined. I am becoming all that I was intended to be. Instead of heaviness there is lightness in my soul, a quiet calm even as there blows a maelstrom, because I know that I am growing into my destiny. I am growing into “my own”, a woman with complete confidence in herself and her abilities and place in the world, at peace with her heart and soul and the desires no longer hidden there. I know some don’t approve of my choices or like the path I have embarked on, but this is MY life, not theirs, and I LIKE who I’m becoming and I WELCOME it.

© Rosie Chee