November 1, 2014



Your soul has traversed the darkest dimensions, slowly returning to the light, emerging to let itself glow again in the world, albeit like a shy bud warily opening to the winter sun, wondering if the frost will melt or try to kill it while it is vulnerable. It has suffered the deepest heartache possible, pain over and over, because it was na├»ve and wanted to believe that it could trust the “love” claimed, now left wondering if all words are anything but emptiness, promises only promising time waiting until they are broken.

The very first love of your soul returns, causing mixed emotions because of everything that has happened, the desire to embrace it again strong, but instinct whispering caution stronger, knowing that unless any words spoken can be backed up with action, nothing has changed, even as everything has changed, and there is no place in your life for any ambivalence. Only surety has a future in your future and anything that cannot prove its truth is not sure, requiring weeding with everything else toxic.

The darkness of your darkness has been banished, almost as if it knew you finally realized its pure motives, not the actions that almost perfectly matched the words and would have been believed had there not been unrest in your soul and you not known the truth behind the words leading to the actions. You strive to keep it from you, not wanting to give it any more power than it has been recently allowed in your life, seeking only to take from the experience instinct leading you in the same way as it is for your first love.

The life that you live now you want free of clutter, cobwebs that can become tangled mazes seeking to throw you off course, devils disguised as angels wanting only to wreak havoc on any peace, negative wanting to drown anything flourishing, winter wanting to take over summer light and create a world of endless darkness. You know what life you want and you are strong enough now to take control of its creation, finally realizing your true strength, not the illusion of it you had before.

You might be in one of the hardest parts of your life’s journey, but you are definitely coming “into your own”, despite thinking you had already, older and wiser than even when you endured the deepest heartbreak and most complete destruction of soul, a warrior recreated and transformed from the terminator, a phoenix reborn through the hottest of hell’s fires, now part machine and part human but all soul, with the power of that soul and its attitude softness carved into hard edges, a true heart still its essence.

© 2014 Rosie Chee