January 28, 2014



“Sometimes God doesn’t change the situation because He’s trying to change your heart.” This really hits home, especially with everything that’s happened in the last quarter. I have to remind myself that “everything for a reason”, even when I am on my knees crying “WHY?! Why could You possibly want me HERE? For what purpose?” I don’t pretend to understand everything God does and why. Sometimes what He asks or wants us to do begs the question “WHY?!” but living on faith means we do trusting that HE knows what He’s doing.

The heart is a strange creature. Mine has almost always been hidden. It’s been locked up tight and guarded, like Sleeping Beauty’s castle surrounded by thorns, so no one gets in [and nothing gets out]. But He slowly started changing me in recent years and I let the determined “creep” their way inside. I let the “spell be broken” and the walls start crumbling down, the thorns gradually disappearing. Even as I kept a guard on watch, for still entry was to be granted only a rare few, albeit the world being able to “see” the tower and that there was a glimmer of light [not always cold] radiating from it.

But the day came when there was great destruction in the tower and the light did not glow as bright. There came a dawn of frost and a sheen of ice layered over the black. The storm passed, but not completely, and the harsh winds and vicious frost cause the ice to linger, even as the tiny flicker of fire inside the tower kept a small portion of it melted. The tower withstood the weather, retreating back away from the world despite remaining in the open, no longer as solitary as it had once been, seeing other towers in the distance, but realizing how isolated it had made itself and that only the truly determined would fight the elements and try to understand the terrain to make their way even to the base of the cliff that it rested upon.

It’s the little things that start adding up. It’s the glimmers of understanding that flicker in and out of view. It’s the moments of clarity amidst the fog that keeps one’s heart going, determined to make it through the storm, even if it doesn’t truly understand WHY. It’s finally realizing that sometimes God ALLOWS the storm and He KEEPS it in place until something INSIDE us changes, until WE start to change, until our HEART begins the transformation. It might take a day, a week, a month, a year, or longer, but He WILL take the time it needs to make the change. He WILL keep the winds blowing, the frost shivering, until that tiny flicker of fire is “fed” and allowed to light and heat more than a single room, shining light from the tower out into the world despite all that is going on around it.

© 2014 Rosie Chee