So this is how it is going to be (after everything). I know it has been rough and I empathize, I truly do, my heart bleeds with you and hurts as if I too were that going through. But I have been struggling as well (not that you notice or care if you have, and that is ok, I am used to it), dealing with my own darkness and demons, trying to ignore the sting of backhandedness and feelings of betrayal. And if this is the face of your friendship and "loyalty" when I choose to make a stand (and refuse to let myself be taken advantage of because I understand), I am actually kind of glad I am the only one I have ever really had. It makes me sad to know such truth, but better sooner than later, and not to push away the feelings, squash them down as I have done in the past. Better to face them head on and deal with it, the way I have become accustomed to dealing with everything, (falling or flying or learning fast how the fuck not to completely crash and crumble into the nothing I have often felt like being). No matter the destruction, despite all darkness and odds, I continue to go on, broken and bloody wreck if I must, even if no one "sees" beyond the superficial smile or hears the screams of my soul. It makes me thankful for my wings, not angel white but demon black, and the strength that they have learnt to harness and carry, knowing I am not what I become in the darkness to survive (even if it reveals more depths of me to myself), and that when the light eventually finds them, no one and nothing will ever be able to "steal" or bind them again. I will make sure of that, this I promise.

Words: © 2018 Rosie Chee​

Image: j.iron word