The first thing that popped out to me with this memory was the
word "disconnect". Even the piece itself, the image I chose to
accompany it, despite knowing how I felt and the event that caused the expression
of emotion this was re words, immediately to mind came this sentence from Brene
Brown's "Daring Greatly": "Even if we choose to stay out of
relationships and opt for disconnection as a form of protection, we're still
alive and that means vulnerability happens.". There is that word again -
DISCONNECT[ion]. For some reason, even before the full moon last week (and
seeing what had been written about what it "meant"), I had felt it on
my soul to reread this book (the first time was back in 2015, when I bought it
after the K-Do Alliance photoshoot, which was a true example encompassing a lot
of what "daring greatly" is-another story), and opened it again that
night. I do not believe in coincidences, and going through it again, with
almost every part of it, something comes to mind of words exchanged or events
occurred this year, moments and people so much as to that day or the one before
in what reading "on", making me realize so much and speaking deep to
my soul. Every time you read a book, you "see" something new or
understand more or perspective re enlightenment changes, I believe (at least
for me, and sometimes I see things that did not before, or the same things I
highlighted in the past resound, albeit for different reasons), and this is no
different. The difference though, is me; I am more AWARE OF ME than I was when
I read this in 2015 (which was really only just at the beginning of my
"awareness awakening", one might say the true cusp in discovery of
"feminine bloom" and path to awakening the "goddess" that
was later birthed in moonlight and started walking in and owning her
power...but I digress)... EVERYTHING about now is making me look hard at
myself, ask myself "why", as I challenge the "rules" (not
what one might think, and certainly very different to societal expectations,
particularly those re "norms" mentioned in this book) I had made for
myself and dared think of what it would mean to "allow" myself a life
that might include everything I had once created "disconnect" from.
ESPECIALLY as this year started out so uncharacteristically, consciously
choosing (even if unconsciously "daring greatly") to throw aside
everything that I would normally have done for reasoning as simple and as
complicated as "new year" and "time for change", etc. and
being open to, that small but ultimately big decision snowballing through 2019
right up until this moment, the epitome of everything "DARING
GREATLY" is about and on it speaks. Even the quote posted re
"memory" three years ago ("Some people are just loners. It's that
simple." - Jimmy Callahan, The Wedding Ringer) jumps out at me with the
challenge: But is it? IS it that simple? Or is it simply how you have chosen to
be because of something that not even you were truly aware of until you began
to question it? Looking back at this week, everything that has happened - NONE
of it is INsignificant, and NONE of the people my soul has dared to "dare
greatly" with are either... NO more disconnect. Not from me. Not for them.
Life's too short. They're too precious. EVERY MOMENT MATTERS...
Words: © 2019 Rosie Chee
