September 10, 2014



Whatever is happening right now is going to happen with or without your permission. The hardest part is being “awake and aware” as it happens, especially when you would love nothing more than to fall asleep and never wake up. As you walk through the hours your mind wants to disappear from the world, float away with the clouds to another part of the world or rise to the stars in the endless blackness of space, to be “free” from the reality of moving footprints being kicked through the sands of time by a hurricane wind determined to rush them to the sea of undoing.

Staying calm in the midst of the hurricane, shrouding your eyes so no one sees the real emotion in the depths, looking to seek solace from the one who should know you the best but remains na├»ve no matter how loud your soul screams, is one way to keep going. One way to try and make sense of the “breaking”, to forgive yourself for being human and having moments of weakness. One way to stay another day in this world when the closing your eyes and walking down the middle of the highway is an impulse that calls to your bruised mind, easier to envision when you have spent time before sitting there for solitude.

Somehow you must let go of whatever is causing distress in your soul and unease in your mind, no matter how hard; remind yourself that it is not worth “taking” from your life any more than it has, if your heart not precious enough to be cherished, to kill yourself slowly over the one you find crept inside. Close your eyes and refind your “centre”; gather “the world” around you as you seek within and without the whispers of dreams, murmurings of wonders that the future can hold if you let go of the rock pulling you down to the depths of the ocean you find yourself drowning in.

Listen to the words that say “do what’s best for you”, the loudest voice of them all that of the one who walks beside you but cannot hear you; give yourself permission to do as you’re “told” and let it happen without feeling regret or remorse for deciding to look after you and not those who seek only to use you, even as their lips speak beautiful words that are nothing more than mere words, for words twisted to fit actions and not the reverse as professed. You need to let your mind come to terms with the actions, peace with the story unfolding, and let yourself “be”.

© 2014 Rosie Chee