December 30, 2012

2012 | Day 365: YOU ARE...



Sometimes it takes us a long time to realize that we actually are IMPORTANT to the world. Sometimes it takes us a long time to understand that we WORTHY of the blessings we have been given in this life. Sometimes it takes us a long time to awaken to the reality of what we MEAN to others.

You are more VALUABLE than you think. You are more PRECIOUS than you believe. You mean more to someone than you might ever KNOW. Just because you do not know does not make it any LESS true.

You are NOT alone in this life. There are people here who love you and want to walk WITH you. There are people who want to see you SMILE. There are people who want to give your dreams a chance of SUCCESS. There are people who believe IN you beyond anything you might ever fathom.

You are an ASSET to this world. You are a DIAMOND in the rough. You are a WONDER waiting to be uncovered. You are PERFECT in your imperfectness. You are flawed and your flaws make you BEAUTIFUL.

When you know all this life OPENS up in a million different ways. It holds far more POSSIBILITIES. It brings NEW meaning to the old. It births new BELIEF in potential for greatness. It creates a glow in your heart and surrounds your soul with LIGHT.

The light in your soul reflects in the world AROUND you. It seeps from you out into the universe and helps create a new kaleidoscope of MAGNIFICENCE. LET it happen…

© 2012 Rosie Chee


The last six weeks have not been the best as far as training. The start of December - ironically about the same time this year as last year, I had a week off because my body was screaming for it (not from injury though, which was ok), but it has been hell trying to get back into it. Training - when I have done it - has been different to my usual, and only 2-3 days a week compared to my 5-6 days. I know that things have to change and they will. Given that my body had not had a TRUE week off - or time off, if I am honest with myself - training (especially resistance training) since I started back training the second week in January this year, I'd say it's done pretty well to last the 11 months it did without breaking. All that aside, the month before my training was a little haphazard, I was doing the LEAST amount re intensity and volume that I have done all year, and it was a month that I MAINTAINED 8% bodyfat during, which is quite something!


Sleep: Been doing far more of this lately than I have all year. The week before I had my week off training I ran out of/stopped all supplements except Vitamin C and saw a huge decline in energy, fatigued all the time, just getting home from work and passing out from ~2030 on, which is very unlike me.

Mood: The month prior to my week off I was pretty happy - some might almost say I was becoming relaxed and comfortable, which might be close to being true. I WAS a lot happier, even though work and personal events were pretty stressful.

Energy: Not been the best - combination of lack of stimulants and lack of training and too MUCH sleep.

Stress: Has been VERY high of late.

Concentration: A lot has been going on, and even when you give your body a break, your mind can NEVER take one - it's been a long and busy month, and that is not going to change heading into the new year.

Body Composition: Currently 119.8 pounds at 10.3% bodyfat - the HIGHEST body composition I have been in ~2 years. Until the week of Thanksgiving (19 November), I had MAINTAINED 8% bodyfat, and after my week without supplements (26 November to 2 December) had climbed to 9% bodyfat, to 9.6% bodyat after my week off (3-9 December), maintaining that for two weeks before gaining to where I am now. I feel so uncomfortable with myself right now, like I am inhabiting a stranger's body, and I am not proud of it. My body has actually changed in several ways over the last month, noticing a few "firsts" in it early this week, which was enough of a shock to determine to get back to where I was last month  - I feel like I "let myself go", something that is disgusting and UNacceptable to me. Having maintained 8% bodyfat for a month, I KNOW I CAN do it, and my body is going to HURT as I push it back there!

Quality of Training: Training - when it HAS been done - has been ok. Less volume (usually only 20-30 minutes) than usual, and much less cardio (20 minutes ~2 times a week, if that) than even HALF of my Maintenance training, but I'll get back there again. The week off (which has slowly become several weeks of "break"

Joints: Both shoulders, more left than right (although they have their days - right hurt more than left for the majority until recently) for the most part, and for the last couple of days lifting my left arm is AGONY. Left wrist has been having a few issues and range of motion has become limited there again. Some of the pain and issues re joints might be contributed to not having a break from training for so long (although the pain has been MORE over the last few weeks than when I WAS training) and lack of Erase (which always seems to make my joints so much BETTER).

Nutrition: A little worse than usual - definitely have noticed my appetite through the roof since my week off training, which indicates that perhaps some of the products I was using DID have some appetite suppression (or maybe that's just my training that used to do that too - many possibilities). My 16-hour fast/8-hour eating window has not been in effect as "strict" as I would usually enforce either - some from changes in schedule re training and work, etc., and I definitely notice how that affects me. One of the biggest changes re nutrition over the last few weeks, and one not intentional either, has been the fact that I have been barely drinking half a galleon of water a day - usually I make sure I have a galleon (if not more), but for some reason, it has been an effort TO drink, which is weird.

Supplements: Have not used anything but Vitamin C since 3 December really. Although I DID start using Alphamine when I "started back" training 10 December. Not notice much from it really - that said, NOTHING has been as it usually would be for me either. Have noticed re midsection the difference in NOT having both 7-KE and Erase (not drinking enough water, in conjunction of the lack re Erase, has not helped my body). My body has been "detoxed" of supplements adequately by now (although my nutrition would not have helped detox it in general), and it's more than ready to start back again (with everything else re usual for me in training, nutrition, schedule, etc.) next week!

Overall Sense of Feeling: There have been a lot of changes over the last month. Things have not been the best since 19 November, although there have been some wonderful moments and memories amongst the busyness and stress. We are ALL human and yes, it happens, but KICKING myself awake now and NOT allowing any more backward movement - that time is no longer welcome in my life! 2012 draws to a close on what can be seen as a "low" note re physique and some psychological, but on a "high" note in the way my life is unfolding. So, here's to the LAST day of being in this place, ready to start being ME again!