MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along" . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt
For the complete Motivational, review Strong Enough to Face Life | WPM Women.
TRAINING
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along" . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt
For the complete Motivational, review Strong Enough to Face Life | WPM Women.
TRAINING
It's been another screwed up week of training, primarily because I have not been going to sleep until ~0330 every morning, and, instead of just pulling an all-nighter as I would have done in the past, just staying up and starting training ~0430, I have been "letting" myself fall asleep, waking between 0530-0730, giving me some time to go for a run in the morning before work sometimes (if waking before 0630) and meaning training has to be done after work (which can be any time from 1930-2200), which is what "keeps" me awake until all hours (that, and being highly stressed, my mind not able to "turn off")...
Training completed this week:
Monday
Session 1
HIIT Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 24 x 20 sprint/10 sec easy
c. 4 min jogging
Stretch 49 min
Session 2
CrossTrainer 10 min
Shoulders/Hamstrings (1 min recovery between sets):
1. Behind-the-neck BB Military Press 6 x 12, 10, 8, 6, 6, 6
2. BB Military Press 6 x 10, 9, 9, 8, 8, 7
3. Single-Arm Cable Lateral Raises 2 x 15 per side
4. Single-Arm Plate Lateral Raises 2 x 15 per side
5. DB Lateral Raises 2 x 10
6. Side-to-side Plyometric Bench Jumps 6 x 20
Did not go to sleep until just AFTER my 0330 alarm, waking at 0430 and 0523, just getting up at 0530, since it was obvious I wasn't going to go back to sleep, I just got up...Went for my HIIT Run at 0700. It was cold, but the freshness was welcome. I felt fresh despite the lack of sleep, my sprints hard and fast and feeling like the best re intensity I was able to put into them in a long time. Right knee started seizing up during the last few sprints though, and it was an effort to push through...Resistance training waited until after work - the ONLY day this week I actually finished at the time I am SUPPOSED to, instead of going several HOURS OVERtime. Started out on the CrossTrainer for a warm-up, faster than I have ever done on it before, keeping my pace high, to get me warm and make my legs hurt, to cover any other pain I was experiencing, ignoring the sharp burning in my right biceps' tendon and cramp in my left calf. Moved from that to Behind-the-neck BB Military Press - I did better than last week, more reps at the same weight, but it hurt more as well, and I kept pushing for 2-4 reps MORE than I should have, the pain becoming excruciating. BB Military Press was interesting and I almost dropped the barbell after each set from the pain. Tried a different "approach" re lateral delts today, and did three different exercises for two sets. Single-Arm Cable Lateral Raises were WTF?! I was weak as anything, my biceps tendons screaming well after only a few reps on each side. I was near tears on the second set and had to dropset the weight, feeling like the most pathetic creature in the gym with how light it was. Single-Arm Plate Lateral Raises were ok, but seeing the difference in muscle and definition between right and lefts sides noticeably. DB Lateral Raises finished me off for sure. And if they didn't, my Side-to-side Plyometric Bench Jumps did - I used the highest bench in the gym, which yes, might not have been the best idea, and on my third set, my vision blurry, I stumbled, lost my balance and almost faceplanted into the dumbbell rack in front of me. A little lightheaded, I took a brief breather before finishing off my sets...No post-weights cardio today - after the Bench Jumps, I was done...
Tuesday
Run 7 miles @ 5 min/mile pace
Stretch 31 min
Another sleepless night into the early morning, this time with only half an hour of sleep from an overload of stress [the last few weeks]. A couple of hours later, because my mind would just not turn off and I needed some time out, I went for a 7-mile run at 5-minute mile pace to meditate and clear my head. It's been a long time since I ran so far or pushed my body that hard, and believe me, I FELT it! I definitely don't do things by half measures and one of these days, if I keep pushing myself like this, either my heart will give out again or my body will break somewhere else. Not that I am too worried about THAT...The crisp air helped calm the chill around my head, although my eyes were watering (not just from the cold). I wore only a t-shirt because I wanted my skin to be numb, to give something for my mind to wander to (which they didn't). Just me, the road, and God. Barely able to breathe, shallow gasps of air, my mind screaming (for a time), ignoring the pain in my right knee (for as long as possible; got hard to when I was limping from ~15 minutes into my run)...Gave several things up to God [I should have a long time ago] and finished my run feeling somewhat lighter. Still decided to leave my resistance session until after work though...Weights did not end up happening, as sh*t going at work blew to pieces and I was there far later than I wanted (and expected) to be, the calm evaporated into a seething aggression that would not have been conducive to training (even though I channel my aggression and rage through my training, there ARE some times when all it would be is a detriment and my training that day a waste of time). To be done later in the week...
Wednesday
Day OFF
Sleep started when I wanted to be getting up, for only ~3 hours, before it was time to get up. Just felt sluggish, head pounding. Work was another disaster, and a discovery later that evening tipped me over the edge of the sanity that I have been trying to hold onto for the last month. In an instant, all life, energy, motivation, and desire for anything but a deep, dark numbness and wanting to disappear from the world replaced me. In such a state, training was not even a thought.
Thursday
HIIT Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 24 x 20 sec effort/10 sec rest
c. 4 min skipping
Stretch 30 min
After a restless, sleepless night, not even there, a blank mask on a shell, I finally kicked myself in the head and went out for a run - HIIT, since I didn't do anything yesterday. During HIIT a change came over me. Something rose inside me and roared, my thoughts suddenly transformed from the discombobulating spinning in my mind to an eerie calm as it realized the truth it had known but not wanted to know, accepting the challenge of life, renewing courage, casting aside weakness and all mental restrictions that would hold me back in the future and prevent me from doing what I must and should. In an instant I was changed, like someone had suddenly shut me down, all that was left the machine that others had (until now) always had an impression of, a strength unlike any strength I have used before, rebuilding my resolve, my will. Freedom is a very releasing feeling. Even if it returns back to you parts of you thought to have been suppressed forever - there was a reason I was as I was when I was younger; it was how I survived (with His Grace), and in this time, it has joined me again. It has joined me and other aspects of me have gone, but not for a brief time - this time it is FOREVER and I do not want them back either. From now on I will be a weapon, attacking life with a vengeance, determination to leave as deep an impression on it as possible, as deep a mark as possible on all whose lives I cross paths with. A Warrior with a Purpose, I will have no hesitation in doing what I HAVE to do, anything in my life with destructive power GONE...Determined and light-hearted, I headed to work...However, the aggression of earlier this week returning full-force later on as an abusive situation turned yet again for the worse, making me mad enough to spit bullets, destructive enough that training, even though I WANT to hurt myself, would have been self-destructive in a NOT good way tonight, so I left it alone...
Friday
Session 1
Run 7 miles
Stretch 13 min
Session 2
CrossTrainer 10 min
Arms/Abs (30 sec recovery between supersets and giant sets):
SuperSet A -
1. Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls 4 x 10, 8, 6, 6
2. Dips 4 x 10, 8, 8, 6
SuperSet B -
3. Incline DB Hammer Bicep Curls 4 x 10
4. V-Bar Tricep Push-Downs 4 x 8, 8, 6, 6
SuperSet C -
5. DB Zottoman Curls 4 x 10
6. Standing DB French Press 4 x 6
Giant Set -
7. Alternate DB Hammer Curls 4 x 8 per side
8. Swissball Crunches (270 to 180 degrees; feet on wall, knees at 90 degree angle) 4 x 10
9. Ab Rollout 4 x 10
10. Deadbug 4 x 10
Post-Weights Cardio:
a. Kettlebell throw and catch to a squat (standing on BOSHU Ball) 5 min
b. Skipping (as many “double unders” as possible) 5 min
c. Skipping (on the BOSHU Ball) 5 min
Stretch 15 min
Passed out a little earlier than usual last night, but plenty of time for a 7-mile run before work - starting to like these again; might start doing them every other day instead of only 10 minutes of cardio pre-weights. Run was great. Air was cooler this morning, but crisp enough to wash over me in a calm, leaving a blank canvas for the day...Resistance session was going to be a hit-or-miss-not-sure-if-I-will-do-it after work (day 0830 to 1930 - NO breaks). Because I haven't done one since Monday, I knew I HAD to, and despite still not being sure whether or not I would actually do one, I took all my pre-training supplements at 1900 in preparation for it, more motivation (well, that, and I work in a gym, so there's NO excuse NOT to train, really). Somewhere between then and 1930, my mood drastically changed and I was READY to go!...Started out on the CrossTrainer, HARD AND FAST, virtually making it a 10-minute "sprint". Gasping for breath, I half-jumped-fell off, blood pumping, ready for the weights...Already determined that I was going to put my body through its paces, short recovery period between heavy supersets, lifting as much as I could. Started off with Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls - been struggling with these ridiculously the last few weeks, so, against all sense, upped it a little and nearly didn't make the last rep on the last set. Dips I did more slowly, going lower than ever, making sure to gauge the "intensity", so my reps would match that re Close-Grip BB Bicep Curls. Loving the vascularity popping when I started on SuperSet B, only getting stronger, the double blue lines separating in my biceps after the first superset. Even though the DB I used for Zottoman Curls were lighter than I am used to using, they made me work, and my arms were getting so pumped and tight that they started becoming painful on the third set. DB French Press sent a sharp pain through my right anterior deltoid and bicep, but I pushed past it, gritting my teeth for six reps each set. Finished off weights with a giant set, one last exercise for arms to ensure complete destruction, before setting into abs. Although only 10 reps each set of each abs' exercise, they were burning from the very FIRST set of Swissball Crunches! My body was on FIRE by the end of my session...Not over yet, though! Because I wasn't going to do post-weights cardio (and I really SHOULD have, since this is something I have learnt that my body NEEDS!), I did something else. After contemplating attempting standing on the swissball, or even jumping up and squatting on it (I know, stupid, considering it's how I broke my left wrist the first time), I ended up doing kettlebell throws on the BOSHU ball instead with one of the guys I work with - squatting down on catching it (so much for NO work for legs, right, LOL). One of the guys I work with and I have a standing competition to see who can do the most "double unders" with a skipping rope without stopping, so after all that, we spent several minutes trying to outdo each other and see if we could beat the record for it - which neither of us managed to do, our knees shot, my right almost giving out on me and rolling my left ankle. But, not to be deterred, I suddenly had the idea of making it MORE difficult and decided randomly to try skipping on the BOSHU ball (not a word - but not to be attempted at home, LOL :p) - NOT easy by any means, and I spent more time on the floor than the ball for my first few attempts. After being looked at like I was out of my mind (I'll try almost anything once- why not?!) and being told to stop, since what a great example it is for the trainers to be doing "dangerous" things, I succeeded not once, but TWICE, and then got Joe to try it. Great times, honestly. Ended the session sore and bruised (I still have burn marks on my arms, elbows, and back from my "great" idea of using a swissball as a "sumo-suit" against Joe, and instead of bouncing back onto my feet as I did the first time we did it, just flying my feet out from under me, top half first, onto my back onto the concrete floor several times), but LAUGHING...Went out to dinner with the guys afterwards, so very different than I had been all week, as if the DELIBERATE pain I was putting my body through, the latest way to see how far I can push my body to see if it "breaks", giving me a new lease on life...
Saturday
CrossTrainer 10 min
Full-Body (30 sec recovery between trisets):
TriSet A -
1. Alternate DB Hammer Bicep Curls 3 x 10, 8, 8 per side
2. Dips 3 x 10, 8, 8
3. Plank 3 x 1 min
TriSet B -
4. Plate Lateral Raises 3 x 15
5. Plate Hammer Raises 3 x 8
6. Rear Delt Flyes 3 x 11
TriSet C -
7. Supinated BB Bent Over Rows 3 x 10
8. Side-to-side Alternating DB Push-Ups (feet on floor, hands on DB/floor) 3 x 10
9. Ab Rollout 3 x 10
Stretch 20 min
Woke the latest I have in a long time this morning, after passing out earlier than usual, giving my body a few extra hours of obviously needed sleep...My mood from last night still in the system, I was bouncing around work with energy, jumping up and down on the BOSHU ball like it was a trampoline, causing the guys to shake their heads in amusement, being told it was like I "have been drinking", LOL...By the time work was over I was so READY for training, hammering it out with a Full-Body session, a little shorter than last week, but with higher intensity...CrossTrainer to start - I was almost laughing to myself during the first few minutes, but as I dug in and pain set into my left knee (from the skipping last night) and under my breastbone (a sharp, stabbing pain had lingered there for the few hours PRE-training and I was NOT going to have it prevent me from training), the "smile" became a grimace...30 seconds rest between [any] sets is what my body seems to respond to the best as far as progress, so I am sticking to it, no matter how hard I push myself. I was shaking badly on my second Plank, after feeling my triceps trembling during the prior set of Dips. Probably should have done a few more reps of each set re Lateral Raises, so next week I'll go heavier (and use DB), but more than made up for it by going heavier and struggling through Rear Delt Flyes, my left wrist cracking and creaking. My right elbow still refuses to come in close by my side when doing Supinated BB Bent Over Rows, despite my best efforts, so I am just going to have to work harder on this. Push-Ups were killer, my arms nearly giving out on me towards the end of my second set - noticing how "rounded" my upper back is from my cycling days when doing these (and planks), no matter how straight my back is or good my posture/form. Finished off the last triset with almost-all-the-way-to-the-floor Ab Rollouts, feeling my core tight and burn from yesterday's abwork...No post-weights cardio, just stretching, since I was really feeling it in my right shoulder/bicep afterwards (pain that ended up lasting all day)...
Sunday
HIIT Run:
a. 4 min jogging
b. 8 x 20 sec sprint/10 sec easy
c. 12 min jogging
Stretch 25 min
Beautiful day outside. Since I have only done two HIIT sessions this week, because I need to do THREE, and because I do NOT want to do any more NOT sprinting, I went for a HIIT Run, albeit only doing eight sprints, so that I can give it everything tomorrow morning (since Monday is a HIIT day). My body is exhausted [from yesterday's resistance session] but my sprints were good, the first few surprising me, actually, seeming almost effortless and over before I knew it. Going to have to start doing LONGER sprints, or just do upwards of 20-24 from now on!
Training this week was again not even close to Maintenance, and in fact, LESS than last week (which is so very NOT cool), so much so that I pretty much consider this a "Week Off"! I got beaten this week - just not in training as much as I had planned on! "Rebooting" is OVER - ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! DESTRUCTION TO COMMENCE, please!
OTHER NOTES
Body Composition
9.1% bodyfat - instead of a 0.3% decrease in bodyfat this week, I GAINED by 0.3%! My body composition was not something I was looking forward to seeing this week, knowing what kind of week it was re life events, stress, training (not even HALF of Maintenance), nutrition (not ONE "good" day - pizza and chocolate or buffet EVERY night after work), and everything else going on. But, it's done now. The week is over. It's been a week a long time in coming, but there can NEVER EVER be another like this in my life! And NEXT week I am aiming to lose ~0.1% bodyfat a DAY!...That aside, I HAVE gained some muscle mass this week - even though my right and left sides are still unbalanced, there is more mass in my deltoids and arms, the definition clearer than it was last week when I was leaner. Unfortunately, even though little resistance training done, with not even Hamstrings done when it WAS done, my lower body has "grown" by almost an INCH - so got to REALLY watch this and ELIMINATE ALL exercise with even a hint of weight that works legs...
Supplements
My bottle of AnaBeta runs out tomorrow - instead of a month, it's only lasted three weeks, since I've been using 5-6 caps daily...It's been nearly three weeks of using Erase PRO. It has not been the best three weeks ever, and each one has changed drastically re training AND nutrition, but progress HAS been made - just over one more week left to see what happens...
Lyle MacDonald's Rapid Fat Loss Crash Diet
As much as I hate to admit it, this did NOT happen this week. I know shame on me; I need to be more DISCIPLINED (but hey, I am only human, and I AM going to have my "weak" moments like everyone else). But, not going to regret it or stress over it, and just going to attempt it this COMING week instead. No biggie. Getting training back on track and up to Maintenance, completed first thing in the morning pre-work, and work hopefully less stressful, all other disruptions in my life from this last week [and month, really], somewhat "settled", I should be able to REfocus and DO THIS! I HAVE TO! NOT being leaner is NOT acceptable!
If I thought last week was stressful, it didn't hold a candle to what happened THIS week, which has honestly been one of the hardest and most challenging weeks in my LIFE (which says a lot, given everything I've been through)! That said, I guess it's been some time in coming, and now that it's over and done with, I can let go and move ON with my life for the better, thankful for the experience, grateful to have been blessed such, stronger and more determined than ever, knowing that the best for me is yet to COME, having faith that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now in my life. I have NOTHING left to lose, so it's time to push the limits even MORE than ever, marching FORWARD with directive PURPOSE! There is a NEW Terminator in the world!
Body Composition
9.1% bodyfat - instead of a 0.3% decrease in bodyfat this week, I GAINED by 0.3%! My body composition was not something I was looking forward to seeing this week, knowing what kind of week it was re life events, stress, training (not even HALF of Maintenance), nutrition (not ONE "good" day - pizza and chocolate or buffet EVERY night after work), and everything else going on. But, it's done now. The week is over. It's been a week a long time in coming, but there can NEVER EVER be another like this in my life! And NEXT week I am aiming to lose ~0.1% bodyfat a DAY!...That aside, I HAVE gained some muscle mass this week - even though my right and left sides are still unbalanced, there is more mass in my deltoids and arms, the definition clearer than it was last week when I was leaner. Unfortunately, even though little resistance training done, with not even Hamstrings done when it WAS done, my lower body has "grown" by almost an INCH - so got to REALLY watch this and ELIMINATE ALL exercise with even a hint of weight that works legs...
Supplements
My bottle of AnaBeta runs out tomorrow - instead of a month, it's only lasted three weeks, since I've been using 5-6 caps daily...It's been nearly three weeks of using Erase PRO. It has not been the best three weeks ever, and each one has changed drastically re training AND nutrition, but progress HAS been made - just over one more week left to see what happens...
Lyle MacDonald's Rapid Fat Loss Crash Diet
As much as I hate to admit it, this did NOT happen this week. I know shame on me; I need to be more DISCIPLINED (but hey, I am only human, and I AM going to have my "weak" moments like everyone else). But, not going to regret it or stress over it, and just going to attempt it this COMING week instead. No biggie. Getting training back on track and up to Maintenance, completed first thing in the morning pre-work, and work hopefully less stressful, all other disruptions in my life from this last week [and month, really], somewhat "settled", I should be able to REfocus and DO THIS! I HAVE TO! NOT being leaner is NOT acceptable!
If I thought last week was stressful, it didn't hold a candle to what happened THIS week, which has honestly been one of the hardest and most challenging weeks in my LIFE (which says a lot, given everything I've been through)! That said, I guess it's been some time in coming, and now that it's over and done with, I can let go and move ON with my life for the better, thankful for the experience, grateful to have been blessed such, stronger and more determined than ever, knowing that the best for me is yet to COME, having faith that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now in my life. I have NOTHING left to lose, so it's time to push the limits even MORE than ever, marching FORWARD with directive PURPOSE! There is a NEW Terminator in the world!
