MOTIVATIONAL OF THE DAY

BLOOMED AND BECOME

Love is something I always shunned and scorned, never wanted for myself (at least, never admitted to myself or anyone else), seeing the heartache it created, not wanting the hurt and pain that seemed inevitable in every “example” of it I saw. Not that I was afraid per se, although when you spend a lifetime building walls around your heart to guard yourself from hurt, that would indicate some “fear” (at least, to those that perceive), but I saw it as weakness and did not want weakness. But sometimes allowing the very things that you are “afraid” of are ultimately what you “need” to set your soul FREE.

So I took the chance. I stopped “fighting” what was happening and just LET it happen. And in that I experienced happiness greater than any I ever thought I might, dreams in my heart that had never dared raise their head for fear of being extinguished on the spot suddenly revealed. Letting love in was a beautiful thing, aspects of myself that I would not have otherwise let be seen exposed to the world, those in my life watching me bloom and blossom in ways that they would never have believed without seeing it for themselves.

But in welcoming the love, I also opened myself up to the hurt and pain I had seen so many times before. I made myself vulnerable in caring about something more than life itself. Love was a weakness that made me open to attack, to destruction that would likely never have had the opportunity to be wrought before. Yet, (and not without great struggle), I accepted that vulnerability, allowing the love to change me, knowing that nothing about such a blessing was ever intended NOT to create unfathomable change in a soul, even if the ways in which that change would eventuate and close would not be all beautiful.

I loved. I bloomed. For a time I held heaven in my hands, and then the inevitable crashing of the world that had been built on dreams and faith and hope and love took the light that had begun to glow so brightly. And in the dark more change occurred as a different strength that might never have been sought or manifested before emerged, grace allowing forgiveness without complete understanding, and the broken  rising to stand tall and proud. For to “become” I needed BOTH light and dark to fully comprehend what was and had been, that light needed not always reason to sparkle and the me required in this world.

© 2013 Rosie Chee