This last week has been a constant battle. The first few days - with great training, all on target - really exhausted me, and I've spent the second half of the week trying to recover from the first half. NOT a position I like being in, and certainly not one I am used to. All I want to do is sleep - and I've been doing a lot. Funny, considering that a year ago, I barely slept more than 4-5 hours, and now I'm sleeping well over 12 hours whenever I fall asleep. My sleeping schedules have become all back to front and upside down again . . . To say that everything from the fatigue to the inability of my body to find and keep a routine is depressing is an UNDERstatement . . .
As I mentioned before, training is my lifeblood - in more ways than one - and NOT being able to do it is HELL. Everything suffers, from mood to mental focus, to stress levels and libido, to appetite and overall sense of well being, when I do NOT train. Quite unhealthy, that so much should balance on one thing, I know, but that's the way it's always been - and yes, I know that just because something has always been so, does not mean that it should always be so. Hence why I am making a real effort to be positive and just work through this time.
Your struggles are when your strengths come out, and you are seen for what you really are. My mother always said that I could be dying, and no one would ever know any better. That may be true, but I know also that sometimes sharing your struggles and weaknesses can sometimes make a burden that seems to bear the weight of the world in it lighter, and bring a gentle flicker of hope to your soul.
I just want my life back on track as fast as possible - for all of this to be over. I did this to myself, and I can UNdo it! I can. I must. I have to. I WILL!
As I mentioned before, training is my lifeblood - in more ways than one - and NOT being able to do it is HELL. Everything suffers, from mood to mental focus, to stress levels and libido, to appetite and overall sense of well being, when I do NOT train. Quite unhealthy, that so much should balance on one thing, I know, but that's the way it's always been - and yes, I know that just because something has always been so, does not mean that it should always be so. Hence why I am making a real effort to be positive and just work through this time.
Your struggles are when your strengths come out, and you are seen for what you really are. My mother always said that I could be dying, and no one would ever know any better. That may be true, but I know also that sometimes sharing your struggles and weaknesses can sometimes make a burden that seems to bear the weight of the world in it lighter, and bring a gentle flicker of hope to your soul.
I just want my life back on track as fast as possible - for all of this to be over. I did this to myself, and I can UNdo it! I can. I must. I have to. I WILL!
